If things had gone slightly differently for me, I would be a neuro-psychiatric medical researcher right now instead of a programmer. As it stands I write code t

If things had gone slightly differently for me, I would be a neuro-psychiatric medical researcher right now instead of a programmer. As it stands I write code to pay bills because I lacked the money to go to college, and (thankfully) the experience necessary to know how to get the student loans necessary to pay for any of the pre-med programs I was accepted to. Having lived past the age of 25 and feeling my mind settle down I can say with the utmost confidence I would make a terrible researcher. I'm far too erratic and emotionally invested in my ideas, among many other personal traits I've come to acknowledge. HOWEVER, if I had been able to pay for college, I would have pursued an academic career because that's what everyone said you should do as I went through the public school system. Which of course makes me wonder how many people are writing papers and performing research because that's just what you do when you're smart and how many are actually adept at performing research and conducting scientific experimentation?