5 ms·

Honest question and genuinely curious: what is difficult about showing up on time?

drewcoo 2y ago
"Just showing up" can mean dealing with all the daily annoyances. https://www.inc.com/danny-iny/woody-allen-said-show-up-to-succeed-is-this-what-h.html https://www.inc.com/danny-iny/woody-allen-said-show-up-to-su... If it's not hard, why can't everyone seem to do it? I have a friend who's a defense lawyer. He tells me that prison must be the happiest place on earth, given the lengths that people go to just to get a chance of getting in. It's funny and illustrative, just like the Woody Allen quote about showing up.
- brailsafe 2y ago
  While I agree with that version of the phrase, and have applied it in other areas, I meant literally showing up at a specific time, consistently over a long period. Applying the Woody Allen quote though, I absolutely believe this is why I'm in good shape and have a decent real in-person social network.
riehwvfbk 2y ago
Untreated ADHD can make this really really really hard. And the worst part is: nobody will understand because it is not hard for most people, so everyone assumes that being late is a character issue. To understand how hard it is, imagine that you have periodic blackouts during which you completely forget not only that you need to be on time for work, but that work is a thing that exists in this universe. You cannot control when one of these blackouts will hit, you just get to deal with the fallout.
- borski 2y ago
  Precisely. You can work on this with techniques and coping mechanisms (and sometimes medication) but it’s a constant struggle.
  - riehwvfbk 2y ago
    Yup. And no matter how many techniques, coping mechanisms, organizational systems, medications and meditations there are - there will still be something that will slip through the cracks, that something will be important, and will make people scratch their heads and wonder how it was possible to drop the ball in such a spectacular fashion. Luckily, the long list of coping mechanisms significantly reduces the incidence of these catastrophes. But "when will my brain malfunction again" is a constant source of anxiety.
    - brailsafe 2y ago
      > there will still be something that will slip through the cracks, that something will be important, and will make people scratch their heads and wonder how it was possible to drop the ball in such a spectacular fashion. What doesn't help is how many leaks there are in the systems we operate in, that are just overlooked because we've either accepted them as fundamentally important, or because most other people will manage to pull it off despite the systems' inadequacy. For example, feedback loops and focus time. Companies will design their workspace to be as distracting and dehumanizing as possible, where someone can roll up a chair at any random moment and start asking questions, meetings are scheduled sporadically throughout a day or week and don't have any positive value contribution. We'll use 3 different asynchronous communication systems that everyone needs to attend to all the time, but no integrated notification system between them; I'll miss that Jira comment because I forgot to check Jira, and then that someone responded to my code review because I'm not checking GitHub every 20 mins, and yet I can't focus on my code for longer than an hour because my boss asked me "How's it going" on Slack.
    - borski 2y ago
      I quell that anxiety by reminding myself of all the superpowers it gives me. If you haven’t read “ADHD is Awesome,” I recommend it.
      - riehwvfbk 2y ago
        I don't know, this line of thinking seems similar to "I am a midget - but look, I never have a problem with legroom on airplanes!" The tiny upside is simply incommesurate with the massive downsides.
- wizzwizz4 2y ago
  We should make it a social expectation that you can show up any time ±1 hour from the official start time of your office job. That way, "I'm ready half an hour early: I could catch the earlier train" becomes an actual thing, and you don't have to kill time for half an hour and risk missing two trains in a row.
  - brailsafe 2y ago
    It would be better, as long as there isn't an implied strict start time, like a morning scrum every day.
brailsafe 2y ago
Looks like riehwvfbk (below) hit the nail on the head. I don't know that I can add anything to their explanation, except that the blackouts are an analogy for what is basically object/obligation permanence issues. For example, I might get in the shower with enough time to make it to my zoom call or an actual in-person job, and then start thinking about something or realize the hair has grown in on my shoulder, and literally forget that I had somewhere to be, or wildly misjudge how long I've been in there, and it can kick off a series of additional delays, like I might then miss the bus. In one-off or irregular situations, this rarely happens, but given enough time, I'm bound to do something like this that doesn't fit into what my manager considers suitable conduct, and once they get this in their head, it's tough to recover from.

"Just showing up" can mean dealing with all the daily annoyances. https://www.inc.com/danny-iny/woody-allen-said-show-up-to-succeed-is-this-what-h.html https://www.inc.com/danny-iny/woody-allen-said-show-up-to-su... If it's not hard, why can't everyone seem to do it? I have a friend who's a defense lawyer. He tells me that prison must be the happiest place on earth, given the lengths that people go to just to get a chance of getting in. It's funny and illustrative, just like the Woody Allen quote about showing up.

brailsafe 2y ago
While I agree with that version of the phrase, and have applied it in other areas, I meant literally showing up at a specific time, consistently over a long period. Applying the Woody Allen quote though, I absolutely believe this is why I'm in good shape and have a decent real in-person social network.

riehwvfbk 2y ago

Untreated ADHD can make this really really really hard. And the worst part is: nobody will understand because it is not hard for most people, so everyone assumes that being late is a character issue. To understand how hard it is, imagine that you have periodic blackouts during which you completely forget not only that you need to be on time for work, but that work is a thing that exists in this universe. You cannot control when one of these blackouts will hit, you just get to deal with the fallout.

borski 2y ago
Precisely. You can work on this with techniques and coping mechanisms (and sometimes medication) but it’s a constant struggle.
- riehwvfbk 2y ago
  Yup. And no matter how many techniques, coping mechanisms, organizational systems, medications and meditations there are - there will still be something that will slip through the cracks, that something will be important, and will make people scratch their heads and wonder how it was possible to drop the ball in such a spectacular fashion. Luckily, the long list of coping mechanisms significantly reduces the incidence of these catastrophes. But "when will my brain malfunction again" is a constant source of anxiety.
  - brailsafe 2y ago
    > there will still be something that will slip through the cracks, that something will be important, and will make people scratch their heads and wonder how it was possible to drop the ball in such a spectacular fashion. What doesn't help is how many leaks there are in the systems we operate in, that are just overlooked because we've either accepted them as fundamentally important, or because most other people will manage to pull it off despite the systems' inadequacy. For example, feedback loops and focus time. Companies will design their workspace to be as distracting and dehumanizing as possible, where someone can roll up a chair at any random moment and start asking questions, meetings are scheduled sporadically throughout a day or week and don't have any positive value contribution. We'll use 3 different asynchronous communication systems that everyone needs to attend to all the time, but no integrated notification system between them; I'll miss that Jira comment because I forgot to check Jira, and then that someone responded to my code review because I'm not checking GitHub every 20 mins, and yet I can't focus on my code for longer than an hour because my boss asked me "How's it going" on Slack.
  - borski 2y ago
    I quell that anxiety by reminding myself of all the superpowers it gives me. If you haven’t read “ADHD is Awesome,” I recommend it.
    - riehwvfbk 2y ago
      I don't know, this line of thinking seems similar to "I am a midget - but look, I never have a problem with legroom on airplanes!" The tiny upside is simply incommesurate with the massive downsides.
wizzwizz4 2y ago
We should make it a social expectation that you can show up any time ±1 hour from the official start time of your office job. That way, "I'm ready half an hour early: I could catch the earlier train" becomes an actual thing, and you don't have to kill time for half an hour and risk missing two trains in a row.
- brailsafe 2y ago
  It would be better, as long as there isn't an implied strict start time, like a morning scrum every day.

brailsafe 2y ago

Looks like riehwvfbk (below) hit the nail on the head. I don't know that I can add anything to their explanation, except that the blackouts are an analogy for what is basically object/obligation permanence issues. For example, I might get in the shower with enough time to make it to my zoom call or an actual in-person job, and then start thinking about something or realize the hair has grown in on my shoulder, and literally forget that I had somewhere to be, or wildly misjudge how long I've been in there, and it can kick off a series of additional delays, like I might then miss the bus. In one-off or irregular situations, this rarely happens, but given enough time, I'm bound to do something like this that doesn't fit into what my manager considers suitable conduct, and once they get this in their head, it's tough to recover from.