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No parent can “train” a kid to be a math genius. There is a wide divide between a “math genius” and having a high SAT score for instance.

by aj7 2y ago

JadeNB 2y ago
> No parent can “train” a kid to be a math genius. While that's true, there's lots of parents who don't believe it, or don't care if the end result isn't actual mathematical genius as long as it's some sort of distinction. (I'm in the happy position where my parents encouraged me to pursue the paths that I enjoyed, which wound up with some acceleration, but my getting in the local newspaper meant that we were besieged by the kind of parents who do just want to push their kids towards some pre-determined "success.")
- lern_too_spel 2y ago
  While I might quibble with the parenting technique because I believe an interest in useful topics can be cultivated, I'm not going to knock those parents for developing the ability to do hard work. The rest of the world is better off with these kids becoming competent professionals due to parental control than it would be if they became wastrels due to parental neglect or encouragement to pursue useless hobbies. In the US at least, the much larger problem is the latter.
  - JadeNB 2y ago
    > While I might quibble with the parenting technique because I believe an interest in useful topics can be cultivated, I'm not going to knock those parents for developing the ability to do hard work. The rest of the world is better off with these kids becoming competent professionals due to parental control than it would be if they became wastrels due to parental neglect or encouragement to pursue useless hobbies. In the US at least, the much larger problem is the latter. I think that's a very optimistic view of the outcome of this sort of thing, although it could be that I just didn't describe the parental behavior well. This wasn't parenting telling their kids "hard work is worth it!", but parents who decided on the specific honors that their child would achieve, and would permit no deviation from the path, as a result of which most of these kids either burned out before achieving their goal, or rebelled, usually in self-destructive ways, as soon as they were given a little freedom from parental control. Different parenting styles work for different people, but for me (as a child in the US in the '80s) I think that my parents did the best possible thing, which was to instill in me lessons about the value and importance of hard work, but to make it clear that, in the end, the decision about whether I would pursue those values was up to me. It probably helped that, despite the many other advantages I enjoyed, my family was insufficiently well off to represent a guaranteed financial fallback for me, so that I knew that, one way or the other, I'd have to make my way in the world—which made it particularly appealing to me to be able to find a way to earn my keep by working hard for something I loved.

No parent can “train” a kid to be a math genius. There is a wide divide between a “math genius” and having a high SAT score for instance.

by aj7 2y ago

No parent can “train” a kid to be a math genius. There is a wide divide between a “math genius” and having a high SAT score for instance.

JadeNB 2y ago

> No parent can “train” a kid to be a math genius. While that's true, there's lots of parents who don't believe it, or don't care if the end result isn't actual mathematical genius as long as it's some sort of distinction. (I'm in the happy position where my parents encouraged me to pursue the paths that I enjoyed, which wound up with some acceleration, but my getting in the local newspaper meant that we were besieged by the kind of parents who do just want to push their kids towards some pre-determined "success.")

lern_too_spel 2y ago
While I might quibble with the parenting technique because I believe an interest in useful topics can be cultivated, I'm not going to knock those parents for developing the ability to do hard work. The rest of the world is better off with these kids becoming competent professionals due to parental control than it would be if they became wastrels due to parental neglect or encouragement to pursue useless hobbies. In the US at least, the much larger problem is the latter.
- JadeNB 2y ago
  > While I might quibble with the parenting technique because I believe an interest in useful topics can be cultivated, I'm not going to knock those parents for developing the ability to do hard work. The rest of the world is better off with these kids becoming competent professionals due to parental control than it would be if they became wastrels due to parental neglect or encouragement to pursue useless hobbies. In the US at least, the much larger problem is the latter. I think that's a very optimistic view of the outcome of this sort of thing, although it could be that I just didn't describe the parental behavior well. This wasn't parenting telling their kids "hard work is worth it!", but parents who decided on the specific honors that their child would achieve, and would permit no deviation from the path, as a result of which most of these kids either burned out before achieving their goal, or rebelled, usually in self-destructive ways, as soon as they were given a little freedom from parental control. Different parenting styles work for different people, but for me (as a child in the US in the '80s) I think that my parents did the best possible thing, which was to instill in me lessons about the value and importance of hard work, but to make it clear that, in the end, the decision about whether I would pursue those values was up to me. It probably helped that, despite the many other advantages I enjoyed, my family was insufficiently well off to represent a guaranteed financial fallback for me, so that I knew that, one way or the other, I'd have to make my way in the world—which made it particularly appealing to me to be able to find a way to earn my keep by working hard for something I loved.