I don't know if this will comfort you or not, but it has me. I experienced "death" a few years ago (I got better!), and it was no big deal. I had a small stroke

I don't know if this will comfort you or not, but it has me. I experienced "death" a few years ago (I got better!), and it was no big deal. I had a small stroke, made it to the emergency room, and had another (larger) one while they were trying to figure out what the first event had been, and whether or not to admit me. I seized, passed out, and came back to consciousness six or seven days later (it was more complicated than that, but that's the gist). I am really, really grateful for the experience, because I have completely lost my fear of death. If I hadn't woken up, it wouldn't have mattered (to me) at all: I was gone. As an experience, it was easy - because it's a complete absence of experience - and as it relates to my day-to-day experience of life it's like a category error. Naturally, I'm afraid of dying - I mean, like, debilitation; dependence; pain. Those sound unpleasant - and to the extent I've experienced them, really are. But the non-existence part of death? I won't be there to worry about it, so why should I worry about it now? (When I've posted something about this on this board before, I've had push back about how I didn't really die, so my comments aren't relevant. All I can say is that my first-person experience (in contrast to my medical state, which, sure, not the same thing) was, in every way I can think of, indistinguishable from (thankfully temporary) death.) So, I dunno if a third-party trip report would have meant anything to me ahead of time, but I hope it does you. It's caused my own emotion and logic, as you put it, to align. I hope, internet friend, that you can find a way to get to the same place.