4 ms·

Ohhhh, so it's this DNA thing and not the fact that my Daddy didn't love me?

by richardlblair 2y ago

dailykoder 2y ago
Crazy hypothesis: What if it ain't that simple?
- richardlblair 2y ago
  In what sense? The DNA or my Daddy? Because legit, my father was an acholohic and generally absent. It really fucked me up.
  - labrador 2y ago
    I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't speak for all bipolar alcoholics, but I sought treatment and now I've made amends with my son and we have a good relationship if that helps at all.
    - richardlblair 2y ago
      That's really great. Not enough people pull themselves up, make amends, and do better. You're one of the good ones <3
      - labrador 2y ago
        I'm trying. Thanks and good luck.
  - dailykoder 2y ago
    Both. Sure we make huge progress in depression research and brain research in general, but there are so many environmental things happening, like yours for example, so just saying "oh yeah depression comes from that DNA" or "yeah that's just from your trauma. A lil therapy will heal everything" is just a bit short sigthed. So yeah, just saying that it's all very complex and we shouldn't really try to reduce this beast of a disease down to anything, because everyone has a different story. In the end I was just a little sarcastic, sorry
    - richardlblair 2y ago
      Honestly, I appreciate the sarcasm. It's a serious topic, and personally I like lighten the tone. It makes it easier to talk about. I fully agree with your perspective. Being a human is hard.
deleted 2y ago
[deleted]
labrador 2y ago
As someone diagnosed with bipolar disorder your comment hit me in a way that made me very angry. Don't insult my father like that.
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]
- richardlblair 2y ago
  I'm not insulting your father, and I'm sorry it came across that way. I was insulting mine.
  - labrador 2y ago
    I get that now. I had to absorb a lot of similar anger from my son before he trusted that I really wanted to make things better.
zdragnar 2y ago
Depression is fundamentally different than being sad about things. Trauma can trigger it, but not by merely being sad. That's the whole point of antidepressant medication. It alleviates symptoms in someone who is sick, but otherwise has no effect on someone who is healthy.
- richardlblair 2y ago
  Antidepressants have the same odds of making someone better than making them worse. Trauma, especially childhood trauma related to primary attachment figures can absolutely cause depression. CBT has the same impact on the brain as antidepressants after only 3 months (assuming the cient is committed to CBT, most don't follow through). Not being loved by a primary attachment figure doesn't just make people sad. It causes a great deal of emotional distress.
  - zdragnar 2y ago
    No one antidepressant works for everyone. Most often, it's a matter of patience while you try various ones. Most of the SSRIs were less than worthless for me, though finding the one that worked was life changing. > CBT has the same impact on the brain as antidepressants after only 3 months (assuming the cient is committed to CBT, most don't follow through). That's just another way of saying that CBT doesn't work for everyone. People following through for three months is a very self-selecting subgroup.
    - richardlblair 2y ago
      I'll rephrase - CBT has the same impact on the brain as antidepressants when they work, after only 3 months. And of course you have to follow through. No treatment work without follow through. I'm glad you found an SSRI that works for you. It's great when that happens. That said, being on the wrong SSRI can cost a life. Being that they are effective as often as they are ineffective, they need to be perscribed with care. Care that is not taken. Long term treatment plans should centre around psychotherapy. SSRIs can offer some assistance, but again, the risks are too high and people end up on them for far too long. If you want to change your brain, it takes focused intentional work. Therapy is great for that.
stewartbracken 2y ago
Many people diagnosed with severe mental illness, like my brother, have excellent upbringings including a great father. What are you trying to achieve bybsaying this? You sound ignorant and antagonistic to vulnerable people.
- richardlblair 2y ago
  My comment relates to my own experiences. I use humor as a coping mechanism. I'm sorry your brother is struggling, I'm happy to hear he has a great support system, and I hope he finds a treatment plan that works for him. Also, as much as this comment might strike a cord with people, there is a great deal of truth to it. Just as there is a great deal of truth to your brother's experience. Attachment trauma is real. Trauma related to a primary attachment figure is a real source of pain for people.
richardlblair 2y ago
Clearly making fun of my own situation struck a cord with folks. I'm sorry, that wasn't my intent. I'm making light of my own situation. That's where I am in my own healing journey. This commnet is about me, my experiences, and my father. It is not a suggestion of what your father may have been like. If your father is great, great!
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]
suoduandao3 2y ago
I mean, do you know the DNA came from your mom's side of the family?

Ohhhh, so it's this DNA thing and not the fact that my Daddy didn't love me?

dailykoder 2y ago

Crazy hypothesis: What if it ain't that simple?

richardlblair 2y ago
In what sense? The DNA or my Daddy? Because legit, my father was an acholohic and generally absent. It really fucked me up.
- labrador 2y ago
  I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't speak for all bipolar alcoholics, but I sought treatment and now I've made amends with my son and we have a good relationship if that helps at all.
  - richardlblair 2y ago
    That's really great. Not enough people pull themselves up, make amends, and do better. You're one of the good ones <3
    - labrador 2y ago
      I'm trying. Thanks and good luck.
- dailykoder 2y ago
  Both. Sure we make huge progress in depression research and brain research in general, but there are so many environmental things happening, like yours for example, so just saying "oh yeah depression comes from that DNA" or "yeah that's just from your trauma. A lil therapy will heal everything" is just a bit short sigthed. So yeah, just saying that it's all very complex and we shouldn't really try to reduce this beast of a disease down to anything, because everyone has a different story. In the end I was just a little sarcastic, sorry
  - richardlblair 2y ago
    Honestly, I appreciate the sarcasm. It's a serious topic, and personally I like lighten the tone. It makes it easier to talk about. I fully agree with your perspective. Being a human is hard.

deleted 2y ago

[deleted]

labrador 2y ago

As someone diagnosed with bipolar disorder your comment hit me in a way that made me very angry. Don't insult my father like that.

deleted 2y ago
[deleted]
richardlblair 2y ago
I'm not insulting your father, and I'm sorry it came across that way. I was insulting mine.
- labrador 2y ago
  I get that now. I had to absorb a lot of similar anger from my son before he trusted that I really wanted to make things better.

zdragnar 2y ago

Depression is fundamentally different than being sad about things. Trauma can trigger it, but not by merely being sad. That's the whole point of antidepressant medication. It alleviates symptoms in someone who is sick, but otherwise has no effect on someone who is healthy.

richardlblair 2y ago
Antidepressants have the same odds of making someone better than making them worse. Trauma, especially childhood trauma related to primary attachment figures can absolutely cause depression. CBT has the same impact on the brain as antidepressants after only 3 months (assuming the cient is committed to CBT, most don't follow through). Not being loved by a primary attachment figure doesn't just make people sad. It causes a great deal of emotional distress.
- zdragnar 2y ago
  No one antidepressant works for everyone. Most often, it's a matter of patience while you try various ones. Most of the SSRIs were less than worthless for me, though finding the one that worked was life changing. > CBT has the same impact on the brain as antidepressants after only 3 months (assuming the cient is committed to CBT, most don't follow through). That's just another way of saying that CBT doesn't work for everyone. People following through for three months is a very self-selecting subgroup.
  - richardlblair 2y ago
    I'll rephrase - CBT has the same impact on the brain as antidepressants when they work, after only 3 months. And of course you have to follow through. No treatment work without follow through. I'm glad you found an SSRI that works for you. It's great when that happens. That said, being on the wrong SSRI can cost a life. Being that they are effective as often as they are ineffective, they need to be perscribed with care. Care that is not taken. Long term treatment plans should centre around psychotherapy. SSRIs can offer some assistance, but again, the risks are too high and people end up on them for far too long. If you want to change your brain, it takes focused intentional work. Therapy is great for that.

stewartbracken 2y ago

Many people diagnosed with severe mental illness, like my brother, have excellent upbringings including a great father. What are you trying to achieve bybsaying this? You sound ignorant and antagonistic to vulnerable people.

richardlblair 2y ago
My comment relates to my own experiences. I use humor as a coping mechanism. I'm sorry your brother is struggling, I'm happy to hear he has a great support system, and I hope he finds a treatment plan that works for him. Also, as much as this comment might strike a cord with people, there is a great deal of truth to it. Just as there is a great deal of truth to your brother's experience. Attachment trauma is real. Trauma related to a primary attachment figure is a real source of pain for people.

richardlblair 2y ago

Clearly making fun of my own situation struck a cord with folks. I'm sorry, that wasn't my intent. I'm making light of my own situation. That's where I am in my own healing journey. This commnet is about me, my experiences, and my father. It is not a suggestion of what your father may have been like. If your father is great, great!

deleted 2y ago
[deleted]

suoduandao3 2y ago

I mean, do you know the DNA came from your mom's side of the family?