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Why is there the assumption that women in said apps are simply superior prospects than the men? There seems to be this mentality of women towards men of, "the

Why is there the assumption that women in said apps are simply superior prospects than the men? There seems to be this mentality of women towards men of, "the odds are good but the goods are odd", but personally it seems to be like 'quality' of men and women seems to be roughly similar in the general population, if you think in terms of attractiveness, intelligence, personality, career prospects, etc.

ksplicer 2y ago
"the odds are good but the goods are odd" I've only ever heard that said in the Bay Area, and I think I would agree...
bradlys 2y ago
Currently, the narrative is that women cannot be at fault for anything. They are always victims and therefore regardless of what they do - they must somehow be being manipulated by others or suffering from someone else besides them. Women would never make a bad decision - it’s society that forces them to take bad decisions! It’s ridiculous and due to our super woke culture. HN is full of typical shitlib wokeist mainstream nonsense because that’s how most of SV is. It’s also great for capital because it distracts from the real issues.
- 8f2ab37a-ed6c 2y ago
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect
- nvy 2y ago
  LOL did you miss the discourse around any prominent woman in any tech-adjacent space? It gets really odious around here when women are discussed. HN is very very far from whatever spectre the right currently is labeling "woke"
godelski 2y ago
If you look at the data on the apps (or talk to both men and women on the apps), they have very different experiences. Men typically have a hard time matching, making it hard for them to find the person they want but also making them feel desperate. On the other hand women don't have a hard time getting a match, but the quality of their matches is low. This makes it hard for them to sort through potential matches and are more likely to experience men who are charismatic but not actually a good match. I think often we don't realize how different our experiences are in dating. There are definitely core shared similarities but there are lots of differences and create different strategies that make us often envy the other. For example, many men will just "swipe right" on everyone and then select after a match because being choosy in the first round may be emotionally draining (as a tiny part gets invested in the "potential" matches that never come). But this strategy is much more uncommon in women. But dating has always been an asymmetric game. The risk/reward structure is very different for the two players. (E.g. getting date raped as a man is so unlikely that it's rarely heard of. But for a woman it's still unlikely but common enough that there's probably a woman you know that has had it happen -- even if you don't know it has).
- megadal 2y ago
  But this doesn't answer the question asked, which is why there's an assumption that women are superior dating prospects on these apps. You actually made the same implication again just now: > Men typically have a hard time matching, making it hard for them to find the person they want but also making them feel desperate. On the other hand women don't have a hard time getting a match, but the quality of their matches is low. This again implies men are not also experiencing low quality matches at similar rates. They are. That's the point that seems to be being glossed over repeatedly in this thread.
  - pseudalopex 2y ago
    > This again implies men are not also experiencing low quality matches at similar rates. They are. Was this studied?
    - 2y ago
sfmz 2y ago
Height: Being a short woman isn't a demerit, being a short guy is. Hair: Young women have great hair. 25% of young men are experiencing moderate-to-extensive male-pattern baldness. Physique: a woman has a great physique if she is thin ( which they usually are at 18 without additional effort) -- a man who doesn't lift weights has a boy's physique which is usually a demerit -- to get an impressive physique as a man takes real gym time. Wealth: there's no expectation for a woman to have money. Men without success or prospects of success (eg. grad school) is a demerit. Its massively imbalanced.
- sfmz 2y ago
  A few more: Make-up: makes women look even better if done right, men can't pull off make-up. Facial hair: sometimes makes men look better, often makes them look worse Other hair: men grow hair every possible place (eg back-hair) because of testostrone I'm told. Age: women seem to age better, something about the growth of the male jaw-line. Do young women even find Leonardo Dicaprio attractive anymore? idk. Thin: women are more dialed into how important being thin is than men, it matters more for them, but at the same time they do a better job with it. I left one out b/c I'm prudish.

ksplicer 2y ago

"the odds are good but the goods are odd" I've only ever heard that said in the Bay Area, and I think I would agree...

bradlys 2y ago

Currently, the narrative is that women cannot be at fault for anything. They are always victims and therefore regardless of what they do - they must somehow be being manipulated by others or suffering from someone else besides them. Women would never make a bad decision - it’s society that forces them to take bad decisions! It’s ridiculous and due to our super woke culture. HN is full of typical shitlib wokeist mainstream nonsense because that’s how most of SV is. It’s also great for capital because it distracts from the real issues.

8f2ab37a-ed6c 2y ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect
nvy 2y ago
LOL did you miss the discourse around any prominent woman in any tech-adjacent space? It gets really odious around here when women are discussed. HN is very very far from whatever spectre the right currently is labeling "woke"

godelski 2y ago

If you look at the data on the apps (or talk to both men and women on the apps), they have very different experiences. Men typically have a hard time matching, making it hard for them to find the person they want but also making them feel desperate. On the other hand women don't have a hard time getting a match, but the quality of their matches is low. This makes it hard for them to sort through potential matches and are more likely to experience men who are charismatic but not actually a good match. I think often we don't realize how different our experiences are in dating. There are definitely core shared similarities but there are lots of differences and create different strategies that make us often envy the other. For example, many men will just "swipe right" on everyone and then select after a match because being choosy in the first round may be emotionally draining (as a tiny part gets invested in the "potential" matches that never come). But this strategy is much more uncommon in women. But dating has always been an asymmetric game. The risk/reward structure is very different for the two players. (E.g. getting date raped as a man is so unlikely that it's rarely heard of. But for a woman it's still unlikely but common enough that there's probably a woman you know that has had it happen -- even if you don't know it has).

megadal 2y ago
But this doesn't answer the question asked, which is why there's an assumption that women are superior dating prospects on these apps. You actually made the same implication again just now: > Men typically have a hard time matching, making it hard for them to find the person they want but also making them feel desperate. On the other hand women don't have a hard time getting a match, but the quality of their matches is low. This again implies men are not also experiencing low quality matches at similar rates. They are. That's the point that seems to be being glossed over repeatedly in this thread.
- pseudalopex 2y ago
  > This again implies men are not also experiencing low quality matches at similar rates. They are. Was this studied?
  - 2y ago

sfmz 2y ago

Height: Being a short woman isn't a demerit, being a short guy is. Hair: Young women have great hair. 25% of young men are experiencing moderate-to-extensive male-pattern baldness. Physique: a woman has a great physique if she is thin ( which they usually are at 18 without additional effort) -- a man who doesn't lift weights has a boy's physique which is usually a demerit -- to get an impressive physique as a man takes real gym time. Wealth: there's no expectation for a woman to have money. Men without success or prospects of success (eg. grad school) is a demerit. Its massively imbalanced.

sfmz 2y ago
A few more: Make-up: makes women look even better if done right, men can't pull off make-up. Facial hair: sometimes makes men look better, often makes them look worse Other hair: men grow hair every possible place (eg back-hair) because of testostrone I'm told. Age: women seem to age better, something about the growth of the male jaw-line. Do young women even find Leonardo Dicaprio attractive anymore? idk. Thin: women are more dialed into how important being thin is than men, it matters more for them, but at the same time they do a better job with it. I left one out b/c I'm prudish.