I’m not sure why this is phrased in such a way as to imply that men are fine with how the “dating app scene” operates and women are the ones being hurt by it.

I’m not sure why this is phrased in such a way as to imply that men are fine with how the “dating app scene” operates and women are the ones being hurt by it. As a man who has used all the modern dating apps and who knows many other men who have also used them, I think I can say without hesitating that the experience almost universally sucks. As a man, even if you’re on the better looking side, with a good job etc, the numbers look something like: swipe right on 150 women, of that 150 you might get 10-12 matches. Of those matches, 3 will probably write you a single message. Of those three, one will go on a date with you. And there’s a fair chance when you go on the date, the person doesn’t look at all like their pictures. (This has happened to me twice) In one of the apps I used, Hinge, I have about 203 matches. I.e. the woman chose me and I chose her. Out of 203, I ended up going on five dates. Of that 203, 50 of them never responded to a first message. So, while I agree the experience isn’t nice for women, it’s equally soul crushing as a man. It seems more like a game where people are trying to “collect” matches like they’re Pokémon, and getting more matches fills some strange sort of immature psychological need. The whole thing deconstructs the fairly beautiful idea of falling in love or meeting someone wonderful and levels it down to some base and insidious numbers game, while also creating a sort of “dating picture” arms-race of filters, choreographed pictures, etc to ensure you stick out in a world where image becomes everything. We talk about how “objectifying” others is bad… well, dating apps are practically training us to objectify others and treat them as fungible entities to treat our loneliness and low self esteem. The whole thing is depressing, what’s worse though is that since most of the western world is less social, alone more often, has no “third space”, etc this dating app world has become many people’s only option for finding a meaningful relationship. Ok, time to swipe through another hundred women…