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I think a lot of black sheep personalities feel like this, pretty safe and smug in calling all the patterns we see in others that make them not right for us. An

I think a lot of black sheep personalities feel like this, pretty safe and smug in calling all the patterns we see in others that make them not right for us. And we know too much of ourselves will try their patience too, which makes us resent their love as a thin weak thing. >lots of reasons but I'm the constant Sad face. I don’t know if admitting this helps or hurts, but a long while ago when I kept seeing your username on so many of my favorite comments i thought about emailing you to flirt, but the more I kept reading thru to look for hints (to confirm that ur straight, not married, etc ) the more I psyched myself out… In sober assessment, I likely wouldn’t meet your standards of, like… spiritual vigor, agency, having ones adult shit together, strength of character in a flailing sham society, etc. You already seemed too complete an image on your own. It creates admiration for sure, but in a way that challenges me to get to your level rather than come closer… Resonating with someone’s deep judgements of the world also means I can’t fall short or claim ignorance later, there’s less room to play. “I agree with everything this guy finds virtuous yet i lack these qualities even after all this time… sigh, better just go work on becoming my best self…“ Catch22, if I already was my ideal self would I still be attracted to philosophical types on hn? (I kinda hate this place ngl) Not sure if any of us with these dispositions really want another human up close or if that ‘trying’ is just part of the aesthetic if I’m honest with myself. Anyway, if u want to talk to a misanthropic fangirl, my username is LimeOregano on Telegram, and when you’re in the woods and very lonely, you can feel free to send me ponderous voice notes without overthinking this polite distance that you’re obliged to maintain with real friends. We can ghost each other if the long tail of negative interaction proves too much! (Afterall, if you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the results of getting your hopes up 100 times lol) Regardless, i hope youre flattered to know that some strangers like you based on the quality of your thoughts alone

piloto_ciego 2y ago
This is my favorite interaction I’ve seen on HackerNews and this made me smile. Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic, but like, follow up on this. You’ve got to email OP if this is how you feel and if you’ve got his email, you’ve got to reach out. I mean, sure it’s a little unorthodox and strange, but yah, you gotta go for it. Fuck it, we’re all weirdos - we’re on a site called HackerNews ffs. Who gives a shit? You can never know if you don’t try. So try! Life is so damn short. One beautiful part about this crazy life thing is that we put ourselves out there and risk disappointment so that we can look at our selves in the mirror at night when we’re old. So that’s pretty damn cool that you posted this and I hope it works out. That’s very brave. When you are old what will you regret? Not trying to be with the people you care about - people say that time and time again on their death beds. Even if it’s not romantic love there are other ways you can enjoy the company of people you care about. It is better to risk the transient shame of failure than to suffer the permanent shame of never trying, so, kudos for having the stones to try. I don’t want to turn this into a thing about myself, but look, I’ve had a rough few fucking years. I developed a chronic illness a few years ago (and became visually impaired), this winter I slipped on ice and I had to get surgery while in my last semester of grad school, and I’ve had to totally rebuild my career from scratch into this new programming one during a tech hiring desert. I’m fucking tired - but I’ll tell you this, even though I’m tired, I just want to say, life is really short. It can be over so fucking fast, so live in a way to minimize your regrets and try to make connections with people whose company you enjoy. Anyway, I’m cheering you on. Go out there and try to enjoy the company of others in spite of all the shit that makes us want to curl into a ball and ignore the world. The antidote to hikkimori pits of despair is defiance of the world that wants us to ignore each other. Fellowship and love is a bit of a revolutionary act on its own. Good luck! o7
motohagiography 2y ago
Unexpectedly kind and brave, and well timed, thank you. Writers have the unfair advantage of getting to refine everything before presenting it, so if you've tried to get better at something as the result of reading about it, you're probably more successful than you know. :) Thanks again. If we're in touch, here's a hash I can prove to show it's me and not someone trolling you: e84c316700f608de4b536be10a3119530b617d0d
- waythrowa 2y ago
  I want to apologize, I'm very sorry. Reread over the messages today and i sounded awful, nothing actually made sense in the tone I had intended. Between half paranoid suspicion I was talking to someone else, and just some self-loathing need to crash and burn, I'm not sure how to explain myself. I think at the end you thought I was trolling you somehow, nope, just grown adult woman saying all the wrong things in some weird unrelenting negative vibe. I'm just embarrassed and feel guilty that I began this in a wholesome tone and ended in a immature obnoxious way. No need to respond to this, I don't even mean to bother you again, like how annoying is that??? it just felt dishonest to the universe and to readers to leave only the good side showing :( take care bye

piloto_ciego 2y ago

This is my favorite interaction I’ve seen on HackerNews and this made me smile. Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic, but like, follow up on this. You’ve got to email OP if this is how you feel and if you’ve got his email, you’ve got to reach out. I mean, sure it’s a little unorthodox and strange, but yah, you gotta go for it. Fuck it, we’re all weirdos - we’re on a site called HackerNews ffs. Who gives a shit? You can never know if you don’t try. So try! Life is so damn short. One beautiful part about this crazy life thing is that we put ourselves out there and risk disappointment so that we can look at our selves in the mirror at night when we’re old. So that’s pretty damn cool that you posted this and I hope it works out. That’s very brave. When you are old what will you regret? Not trying to be with the people you care about - people say that time and time again on their death beds. Even if it’s not romantic love there are other ways you can enjoy the company of people you care about. It is better to risk the transient shame of failure than to suffer the permanent shame of never trying, so, kudos for having the stones to try. I don’t want to turn this into a thing about myself, but look, I’ve had a rough few fucking years. I developed a chronic illness a few years ago (and became visually impaired), this winter I slipped on ice and I had to get surgery while in my last semester of grad school, and I’ve had to totally rebuild my career from scratch into this new programming one during a tech hiring desert. I’m fucking tired - but I’ll tell you this, even though I’m tired, I just want to say, life is really short. It can be over so fucking fast, so live in a way to minimize your regrets and try to make connections with people whose company you enjoy. Anyway, I’m cheering you on. Go out there and try to enjoy the company of others in spite of all the shit that makes us want to curl into a ball and ignore the world. The antidote to hikkimori pits of despair is defiance of the world that wants us to ignore each other. Fellowship and love is a bit of a revolutionary act on its own. Good luck! o7

motohagiography 2y ago

Unexpectedly kind and brave, and well timed, thank you. Writers have the unfair advantage of getting to refine everything before presenting it, so if you've tried to get better at something as the result of reading about it, you're probably more successful than you know. :) Thanks again. If we're in touch, here's a hash I can prove to show it's me and not someone trolling you: e84c316700f608de4b536be10a3119530b617d0d

waythrowa 2y ago
I want to apologize, I'm very sorry. Reread over the messages today and i sounded awful, nothing actually made sense in the tone I had intended. Between half paranoid suspicion I was talking to someone else, and just some self-loathing need to crash and burn, I'm not sure how to explain myself. I think at the end you thought I was trolling you somehow, nope, just grown adult woman saying all the wrong things in some weird unrelenting negative vibe. I'm just embarrassed and feel guilty that I began this in a wholesome tone and ended in a immature obnoxious way. No need to respond to this, I don't even mean to bother you again, like how annoying is that??? it just felt dishonest to the universe and to readers to leave only the good side showing :( take care bye