4 ms·
Children have the nice effect of cutting the fat out of your day. When you don't have children, it is very easy for most people to piss away their time on socia
by lo_zamoyski 2y ago
Children have the nice effect of cutting the fat out of your day. When you don't have children, it is very easy for most people to piss away their time on social media, reading useless news (99% of it is sensational dreck at the level of gossip), and so on. Children remind you that time is a very limited resource. Parkinson's law. You have less time, so your use that time more intensely meaningfully. I am willing to bet that much of the problems with focus and mental illness (rumination and all that) that people report would be resolved by taking on more responsibility. The knowledge that you don't have time to fritter away on garbage is enough to mobilize, organize, prioritize, and motivate you, dashing any temptations or even desires to indulge in worthless things. It's the same reason why people suddenly become motivated closer to a deadline or expected delivery date. Nothing focuses the mind more intensely than immanent death.
- silverquiet 2y agoI've been paralyzed by the fear of imminent death since I was about seven years old, and I believe that is about the time I decided I could never have children since they would face the same fate. Perhaps for you it is focusing, but for me it is quite the opposite.
- theatomheart 2y agoeveryone dies. you are not that special. get over yourself and live with the time ur given, noob. life is a gift; don't waste it.
- deepfriedchokes 2y agoI have had a similar existential crisis since I was 13 which greatly affected my ability to focus for half my life. When I hit middle age I finally realized this self inflicted trauma was keeping me from living the life I wanted which was creating a feedback loop that amplified my existential crisis. Consider talk therapy, it works. Fear is the mind killer, as they say. Take your power back and live the time you have at your best.
- silverquiet 2y agoI appreciate the encouragement and I can say that I have made some effort there. I've also faced chronic pain throughout life and am trying to face the surgery that can probably alleviate it, so I'm working on it.
- deepfriedchokes 2y agoGood for you! Just keep showing up, and eventually emotional momentum compounded over time will lead to emotional escape velocity. The more processing done in therapy, the lighter the load, the higher you’ll fly. You can do it. I am so sorry to hear you have chronic pain. I hope your surgery goes well and that it provides some relief.
- collingreen 2y agoGood luck! Escaping chronic pain sounds life changing. I'm rooting for you.