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I think there's a lot of self-selection going on with the cathegory of estranged parents who blame their kids. If you're the sort of person to reflect on your b
by kombookcha 2y ago
I think there's a lot of self-selection going on with the cathegory of estranged parents who blame their kids. If you're the sort of person to reflect on your behaviour, take responsibility and change it because you realise you're hurting others, you're a lot less likely to end up with estranged kids in the first place.
If it does happen anyway, you're probably also less likely to be self-soothing with listicles about how it's definitely the fault of your ungrateful kids and whoever turned them against you.
I hope you're in a better spot now, and I'm glad you found the strength to demand better.
- smeej 2y agoThere wouldn't be any way to collect this data, but if you could, I guarantee the overwhelming majority of "apologies" from parent to child over the course of these relationships would start with, "I'm sorry you..." rather than, "I'm sorry I..." I'd be pleasantly surprised to find out sincere apologies ever happened.
- NateEag 2y agoI would probably try talking to my parents again if they actually gave me an apology for something they did and left it at a straight owning of their error. In my family of origin apologies usually started by owning something the apologizer did, but invariably moved on to a "but" that made the recipient the butt of the apology.
- smeej 2y agoThis is the reason I have a relationship with my mom and not my dad. She did eventually try to understand why she thought the things she did were OK at the time she did them (and that's actually been helpful for me to understand over time), but she began by apologizing and saying anything that affected me the way it did was wrong for her to do, even if she didn't realize it at the time.