I also cannot stand Java (not the technology, but everything surrounding it - bean factories, J2EE, Tomcat, war files, maven, insane unhinged class paths etc) b

I also cannot stand Java (not the technology, but everything surrounding it - bean factories, J2EE, Tomcat, war files, maven, insane unhinged class paths etc) but honestly one of the reasons Clojure is amazing is that it allows you to exist inside of the Java ecosystem while also being pretty isolated and walled off from it. It's all the good parts of Java without all the bad annoying parts. I would urge you to push thru the PTSD and give it another shot. There is also Clojurescript, which runs on Javascript, and Babashka which is a lighter weight implementation of Clojure for fast startup times that is targeted at things like shell scripts or system programs. https://babashka.org/ https://babashka.org/