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My daughter hated, HATED, gymnastics for a period when she was younger. She would kick and scream on the ground when we took her. Part of it was that the coac

My daughter hated, HATED, gymnastics for a period when she was younger. She would kick and scream on the ground when we took her. Part of it was that the coaches were old-school, Eastern European gymnasts. Part of it was the timing -- right after school when she probably wanted to nap. Wife and I debated long and hard whether we should just let her quit but decided to keep her in it because she showed some talent for it. It wasn't easy because we effectively "forced" her to do gymnastics even as she would kick and scream and cry on some days just getting into the car. Some days I'd complain to my wife why we bother with this because she clearly doesn't want to do it. This past weekend? She placed first all-around in her division at a regional competition. We got her an adjustable dumbbell set this past Christmas and she trains every night on her own volition. She hates missing gymnastics now because that's her happy place now. I'd say it's part of her identity now. I think sometimes, kids don't want to do things because they aren't good at it. But they can't become proficient at anything without a lot of practice and training be that an instrument or a sport. And with that proficiency comes enjoyment and engagement. It's not so black and white as you propose; sometimes there's a judgement call to be made to start the ramp of proficiency that feeds into enjoyment and achievement.

mdorazio 2y ago
The trouble with this is that you don't have any data for the alternative case, so you can't say if forcing her to do gymnastics was actually a good move. Maybe she would have loved piano even more and been performing at concerts now. Maybe she would have loved soccer and been on a path to the Olympics. Personally, I think forcing kids to do an activity after they've tried it a few times and decided they hate it is generally a bad tactic. I'm a fan of giving kids options - they have to do something that gets them out of the house and off their phone / iPad, but not necessarily the thing I personally think they should do.
- CharlieDigital 2y ago
  I don't think we would have kept going if she didn't show some ability. But because she showed some ability (balance, flexibility), we pushed it a bit more and it worked out for us.
JumpCrisscross 2y ago
> sometimes, kids don't want to do things because they aren't good at it. But they can't become proficient at anything without a lot of practice You’re good parents. Learning to get over that hump is a huge deal. You come across kids who lack that capability. It’s particularly disheartening if they’re already in puberty, because a lot of evidence shows by that point it’s too late for most. (But never altogether too late. The relearning will just be traumatic.)
28304283409234 2y ago
In the Netherlands, gymnastics in the Eighties were child torture. Child. Torture. As in: "Run until you puke. If you have not puked, you have not done your best." As in: "Train 4 hours non-stop on one cup of water." As in a grown man putting his full weight on a 7 year old's shoulders in order to get her to do the split. I hope for your kids' sake this is not the case for her.

mdorazio 2y ago

The trouble with this is that you don't have any data for the alternative case, so you can't say if forcing her to do gymnastics was actually a good move. Maybe she would have loved piano even more and been performing at concerts now. Maybe she would have loved soccer and been on a path to the Olympics. Personally, I think forcing kids to do an activity after they've tried it a few times and decided they hate it is generally a bad tactic. I'm a fan of giving kids options - they have to do something that gets them out of the house and off their phone / iPad, but not necessarily the thing I personally think they should do.

CharlieDigital 2y ago
I don't think we would have kept going if she didn't show some ability. But because she showed some ability (balance, flexibility), we pushed it a bit more and it worked out for us.

JumpCrisscross 2y ago

> sometimes, kids don't want to do things because they aren't good at it. But they can't become proficient at anything without a lot of practice You’re good parents. Learning to get over that hump is a huge deal. You come across kids who lack that capability. It’s particularly disheartening if they’re already in puberty, because a lot of evidence shows by that point it’s too late for most. (But never altogether too late. The relearning will just be traumatic.)

28304283409234 2y ago

In the Netherlands, gymnastics in the Eighties were child torture. Child. Torture. As in: "Run until you puke. If you have not puked, you have not done your best." As in: "Train 4 hours non-stop on one cup of water." As in a grown man putting his full weight on a 7 year old's shoulders in order to get her to do the split. I hope for your kids' sake this is not the case for her.