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The issue with this mentality is it ultimately leads to doing nothing at all. It's incredibly easy to look at an obligation and turn it down, even if it will be

by beart 2y ago

The issue with this mentality is it ultimately leads to doing nothing at all. It's incredibly easy to look at an obligation and turn it down, even if it will benefit you and your family. My kids would love to do nothing but play video games all day long. Honestly, so would I. But I coach them in sports because it gets me involved, gets me out of the house, and teaches them a ton of valuable lessons. Lessons I wish I had learned.

avmich 2y ago
> The issue with this mentality is it ultimately leads to doing nothing at all. Not necessarily - but too often to be important. Surely kids left alone would do wonderful things by themselves... if they figure out what are those wonderful things they'd like to do. Most often they don't know. Have no idea what are those wonderful activities, which they like, and which they can participate, or solo, in, and how to organize whatever is needed. Now it's the ball in our court - and we don't have a good solution for how to present those opportunities to kids, so that they'd not just sit and figure nothing interesting to do, and get distracted with more passive things, like TVs or videogames, but something which strikes a better balance between enjoyment and benefits in learning. It's interesting that the problem is literally ages old - yet we as civilization still have rather crude solutions for what to offer our kids so they'd grow involved and benefiting from learning opportunities. Seems like a good topic for a targeted efforts for a company or a non-profit, if government is moving too slow.
spicyusername 2y ago
Then it sounds like that's an obligation you do want to do, and will go to. But later, if you change your mind... then don't go.
- beart 2y ago
  I changed my kids diapers, if I didn't they would smell and get a rash. Having a good reason to do something isn't the same thing as wanting to do it for purely pleasurable reasons. But that's the whole point isn't it? Approaching things as, "if you don't want to do it, then don't" can lead to a whole lot of bad outcomes.

by beart 2y ago

avmich 2y ago

> The issue with this mentality is it ultimately leads to doing nothing at all. Not necessarily - but too often to be important. Surely kids left alone would do wonderful things by themselves... if they figure out what are those wonderful things they'd like to do. Most often they don't know. Have no idea what are those wonderful activities, which they like, and which they can participate, or solo, in, and how to organize whatever is needed. Now it's the ball in our court - and we don't have a good solution for how to present those opportunities to kids, so that they'd not just sit and figure nothing interesting to do, and get distracted with more passive things, like TVs or videogames, but something which strikes a better balance between enjoyment and benefits in learning. It's interesting that the problem is literally ages old - yet we as civilization still have rather crude solutions for what to offer our kids so they'd grow involved and benefiting from learning opportunities. Seems like a good topic for a targeted efforts for a company or a non-profit, if government is moving too slow.

spicyusername 2y ago

Then it sounds like that's an obligation you do want to do, and will go to. But later, if you change your mind... then don't go.

beart 2y ago
I changed my kids diapers, if I didn't they would smell and get a rash. Having a good reason to do something isn't the same thing as wanting to do it for purely pleasurable reasons. But that's the whole point isn't it? Approaching things as, "if you don't want to do it, then don't" can lead to a whole lot of bad outcomes.