7 ms·

This so much. I will never ever want to ruin my kid's life with such an expectation, I moved permanently to society where basic dignity is cca guaranteed if pos

by jajko 2y ago

This so much. I will never ever want to ruin my kid's life with such an expectation, I moved permanently to society where basic dignity is cca guaranteed if possible, and if it cannot be provided, so be it, death of me is fine and just a question of time. I wish to still being able to end it myself, on my terms, somewhere not bothering anybody, causing as little problems as possible (and settle will well ahead of it). My useless last years are worthless compared to (remaining) prime age of the most important people in my lives - my children. What kind of piece of shit I would be to expect them to waste it on me. Now is the time to live your life to see it as well spend, whatever it means to you. Then you can be dying in peace. You really can live off good stuff in life for a long time, and raising kids well is the ultimate achievement for me. There is one issue with all this - I can't take such care for my own parents due to big distance. I can though easily pay for full support in any way they will ever require, which is still massively better objectively than me risking getting fired constantly and juggling their needs with my & my family. So the transition generation and those just before doesn't have it easiest, but I honestly believe this is the right, non-selfish way. And if I succumb to dementia (which is never sudden), I will specifically beg all around me repeatedly that I want as little time & energy from them as possible, just a bit to cover their own emotional needs and happiness. Anything above is just a gift that shouldn't be too common.

giraffe_lady 2y ago
> death of me is fine and just a question of time. I wish to still being able to end it myself, on my terms, somewhere not bothering anybody, causing as little problems as possible I've heard this sentiment over and over again, from older people around me growing up, and then from my peers as I've aged. I think most of them were perfectly sincere when they said it, some said it regularly for years. In the end though, zero of these people chose suicide in the end. Despite many of them ultimately having severe chronic illnesses and disability. I'm not saying you're wrong to say this, or even to believe it about yourself. But something I've noticed in working with disability work is that disabled people still generally find life worth living, still find the cost worth it. You want to end it "when the time comes" but probably the time will never come.
- lotsofpulp 2y ago
  Did they have foolproof, painless assisted suicide as an option? As far as I know, that is not really available anywhere except for when the doctors prescribe extra morphine once someone is in their final days and is unable to administer it to themselves and “warns” their family what would happen if too much morphine is given.
  - geodel 2y ago
    Well you are right about foolproof part. But then it is just saying for effect that I'd rather be dead than imposing on my kids
    - bombcar 2y ago
      Just be sure you've talked to your kids beforehand, because they may not feel the same way and may feel betrayed.
  - polski-g 2y ago
    Oregon, Canada, Netherlands all have it. Also could jump off a building.
    - LorenPechtel 2y ago
      Oregon is a lethal prescription situation, you still have to have enough physical function to do it. And jumping off a building requires being able to access the exterior of a building tall enough for the purpose. Such access is common to residents (balconies), but typically not to visitors. And it requires being able to climb over whatever safety barriers exist. I am aware of *one* spot--and if things were bad enough I doubt I could either reach it or get over the barrier. Without a conveniently-placed vehicle (it's a parking garage) I doubt my wife could get over the barrier even in good health.
    - lotsofpulp 2y ago
      Jumping off a building is not foolproof, and leaves quite a mess for others’ to clean up. The desire is to be able to choose to die peacefully, with as minimal (negative) impact on others as possible. Another easy one is falling off the boat while fishing, but again, you might leave a body or body part floating around for someone to find. And the boat is left unattended.

by jajko 2y ago

giraffe_lady 2y ago

> death of me is fine and just a question of time. I wish to still being able to end it myself, on my terms, somewhere not bothering anybody, causing as little problems as possible I've heard this sentiment over and over again, from older people around me growing up, and then from my peers as I've aged. I think most of them were perfectly sincere when they said it, some said it regularly for years. In the end though, zero of these people chose suicide in the end. Despite many of them ultimately having severe chronic illnesses and disability. I'm not saying you're wrong to say this, or even to believe it about yourself. But something I've noticed in working with disability work is that disabled people still generally find life worth living, still find the cost worth it. You want to end it "when the time comes" but probably the time will never come.

lotsofpulp 2y ago
Did they have foolproof, painless assisted suicide as an option? As far as I know, that is not really available anywhere except for when the doctors prescribe extra morphine once someone is in their final days and is unable to administer it to themselves and “warns” their family what would happen if too much morphine is given.
- geodel 2y ago
  Well you are right about foolproof part. But then it is just saying for effect that I'd rather be dead than imposing on my kids
  - bombcar 2y ago
    Just be sure you've talked to your kids beforehand, because they may not feel the same way and may feel betrayed.
- polski-g 2y ago
  Oregon, Canada, Netherlands all have it. Also could jump off a building.
  - LorenPechtel 2y ago
    Oregon is a lethal prescription situation, you still have to have enough physical function to do it. And jumping off a building requires being able to access the exterior of a building tall enough for the purpose. Such access is common to residents (balconies), but typically not to visitors. And it requires being able to climb over whatever safety barriers exist. I am aware of *one* spot--and if things were bad enough I doubt I could either reach it or get over the barrier. Without a conveniently-placed vehicle (it's a parking garage) I doubt my wife could get over the barrier even in good health.
  - lotsofpulp 2y ago
    Jumping off a building is not foolproof, and leaves quite a mess for others’ to clean up. The desire is to be able to choose to die peacefully, with as minimal (negative) impact on others as possible. Another easy one is falling off the boat while fishing, but again, you might leave a body or body part floating around for someone to find. And the boat is left unattended.