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Are you saying it's selfish to not have kids? Other than accidental parents, I've never met any who didn't have kids because they wanted them. How were they not

Are you saying it's selfish to not have kids? Other than accidental parents, I've never met any who didn't have kids because they wanted them. How were they not acting selfishly?

deleted 2y ago
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CogitoCogito 2y ago
It's interesting to see this comment downvoted. I'm honestly curious as to the thinking here. How are parents having kids because they want them not acting selfishly?
- RestlessMind 2y ago
  Actually both parents and non-parents exhibit selfishness, just of different flavors. Parents have natural urges to have kids (literally, evolution!). So it is self-explanatory. Non-parents will need a younger generation when they grow old for satisfying all the Maslow hierarchies of needs (food, medical care, entertainment, funding social safety nets etc). So the ones who are not producing any kids by choice are consciously offloading their old-age care and hence act selfishly. People in both categories may not be aware of their own flavor of selfishness.
  - atonse 2y ago
    Agreed. I just thought it was unnecessary to just paint one side as purely selfish.
  - CogitoCogito 2y ago
    > So the ones who are not producing any kids by choice are consciously offloading their old-age care and hence act selfishly. When my father was dying, I out of all his children was able to help him the most since I don't have children of my own. Clearly I could devote my life to helping old people and do more overall good for that group, then just producing children (who may or may not do so). In fact, I could make the claim that "the ones who *are* producing kids by choice are consciously producing more work for future generations to do hence acting selfishly". That position would be similarly asinine. But sure if you understand there is no inherent good to parenting and it's basically just people doing what they want to do (well when having the children by choice anyway), then I guess you maybe show a little humility. I may someday have children, but I'm under no illusion that I'd be doing the world a favor.
stefantalpalaru 2y ago
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illiac786 2y ago
I think the previous poster said the opposite: you think that others think you are selfish (projecting on others).
atonse 2y ago
I was saying the opposite. The parent poster is implying that there are only selfish reasons that someone would want society to have more families/kids. I was saying that it didn’t feel like they were arguing in good faith by ascribing only selfish motivations for those who advocate for that point of view.

Are you saying it's selfish to not have kids? Other than accidental parents, I've never met any who didn't have kids because they wanted them. How were they not acting selfishly?

deleted 2y ago

[deleted]

CogitoCogito 2y ago

It's interesting to see this comment downvoted. I'm honestly curious as to the thinking here. How are parents having kids because they want them not acting selfishly?

RestlessMind 2y ago
Actually both parents and non-parents exhibit selfishness, just of different flavors. Parents have natural urges to have kids (literally, evolution!). So it is self-explanatory. Non-parents will need a younger generation when they grow old for satisfying all the Maslow hierarchies of needs (food, medical care, entertainment, funding social safety nets etc). So the ones who are not producing any kids by choice are consciously offloading their old-age care and hence act selfishly. People in both categories may not be aware of their own flavor of selfishness.
- atonse 2y ago
  Agreed. I just thought it was unnecessary to just paint one side as purely selfish.
- CogitoCogito 2y ago
  > So the ones who are not producing any kids by choice are consciously offloading their old-age care and hence act selfishly. When my father was dying, I out of all his children was able to help him the most since I don't have children of my own. Clearly I could devote my life to helping old people and do more overall good for that group, then just producing children (who may or may not do so). In fact, I could make the claim that "the ones who *are* producing kids by choice are consciously producing more work for future generations to do hence acting selfishly". That position would be similarly asinine. But sure if you understand there is no inherent good to parenting and it's basically just people doing what they want to do (well when having the children by choice anyway), then I guess you maybe show a little humility. I may someday have children, but I'm under no illusion that I'd be doing the world a favor.

stefantalpalaru 2y ago

[dead]

illiac786 2y ago

I think the previous poster said the opposite: you think that others think you are selfish (projecting on others).

atonse 2y ago

I was saying the opposite. The parent poster is implying that there are only selfish reasons that someone would want society to have more families/kids. I was saying that it didn’t feel like they were arguing in good faith by ascribing only selfish motivations for those who advocate for that point of view.