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> You may find yourself having to learn to think in a new way literally. I've said for a few years now my personality is slightly different when I speak Englis

by vasco 2y ago

> You may find yourself having to learn to think in a new way literally. I've said for a few years now my personality is slightly different when I speak English. I have a partner of several years that doesn't speak my language nor me hers and we communicate in English and even simple things like expressing affection feel different even after a decade. At some point since I speak more English every day than my own language when I switched to "thinking in English" (not on purpose) I remember feeling very sad, having almost lost a part of me, and I spent some time trying to think what impact it was having on my own actions and behaviors. Nothing major, but I am more assertive and outspoken in English than in my native language because things don't feel so "real" to say, so it's easier to not feel scared. I feel very strange sharing this because when I tried I got strange looks but maybe someone recognizes themselves in this too.

atseajournal 2y ago
Javier Bardem recently said the exact same thing, in terms of English being an easier language for him to perform in because it's not as real to him as Spanish.
bojan 2y ago
This certainly resonates with me. In my professional environment I use my third language, and, while it takes more thought to express myself, I am more assertive and open simply because the words carry "less" weight to me. Another positive side is that I'm more difficult to offend or upset. Sometimes I translate in my head what I just said back to my native language and realise that chances are I wouldn't have said it if I had to actually say it in my native language. It's weird. It's also not something I think about on a daily basis. It's simply how it works.
nasir 2y ago
Living the same life. 10 years speaking English with a non English speaking partner and I can say I now fully think in English and in many aspects my English is better than my native language. Could never put words on it but things don’t feel so real either. The funniest part is now I speak my native language with my small kids and have fully relapsed to my original home town accent. I had abolished that accent years ago to avoid getting bullied at high school after relocating to a big city. My kids are actively hearing and speaking 4 languages and one is with a thick accent!
- pilaf 2y ago
  > 10 years speaking English with a non English speaking partner Did you mean to say your partner doesn't speak your native language, or how does that work?
rvnx 2y ago
With English you get to lose nuances and to simplify your thoughts. As a result, you cannot put exact words on your emotions or your thoughts and you start to think and feel differently (and not in a nicer way).
- Tor3 2y ago
  Hm.. I feel no difference there between my native language and English. I use the latter every day, and everything I read (and I read a lot) is in English - I've only read two books in my native language the last thirty years or so. I don't feel any difference in how I can express myself. However: I am kind of a different person when I speak English. My personality changes. Not for the worse though (and that's where I don't agree with the "and not in a nicer way", that's not how it is for me).
- tsimionescu 2y ago
  English is one of the languages on earth with by far the most words, and with some of the most extraordinary writers. You can give as much nuance as you want. The problem is that, as a non-native speaker, the words carry less emotional weight somehow than my native language. This is not specific to English, and it's not because of a lack of familiarity. It's most visible in swear words - I have no problem saying any swear word in English, while I still get slightly squeamish with certain swear words in my native language. It's basically a part of how you can't really absorb certain cultural aspects of a language, even if you learn about them. They're never going to be a part of your own internal culture if you didn't grow up with them.
  - vasco 2y ago
    Exactly! Swear words are a great example, "I love you" another. "I love you" is just something "people say in movies and books", whereas the one in my language is what my mom told me. Big difference!
    - micah94 2y ago
      This is a profound statement.
t_akosuke 2y ago
I thought that was a pretty common thing to feel? I mean, the different personality thing. I had never thought about things not feeling so real... I'm gonna definitely meditate on that one for a while I also got sad when i started replacing my native language with English in my thoughts, and pushed myself to think in Spanish again, have more Spanish speakers around me etc. since i no longer live where i learned my native language, i speak a somewhat "foreign" to myself version of it, which introduced a new type of sadness - that of not being recognised as a local in your own home, losing a specific kind of personality that's bound to a specific place- but that's one I've learned to live with

by vasco 2y ago

atseajournal 2y ago

Javier Bardem recently said the exact same thing, in terms of English being an easier language for him to perform in because it's not as real to him as Spanish.

bojan 2y ago

This certainly resonates with me. In my professional environment I use my third language, and, while it takes more thought to express myself, I am more assertive and open simply because the words carry "less" weight to me. Another positive side is that I'm more difficult to offend or upset. Sometimes I translate in my head what I just said back to my native language and realise that chances are I wouldn't have said it if I had to actually say it in my native language. It's weird. It's also not something I think about on a daily basis. It's simply how it works.

nasir 2y ago

Living the same life. 10 years speaking English with a non English speaking partner and I can say I now fully think in English and in many aspects my English is better than my native language. Could never put words on it but things don’t feel so real either. The funniest part is now I speak my native language with my small kids and have fully relapsed to my original home town accent. I had abolished that accent years ago to avoid getting bullied at high school after relocating to a big city. My kids are actively hearing and speaking 4 languages and one is with a thick accent!

pilaf 2y ago
> 10 years speaking English with a non English speaking partner Did you mean to say your partner doesn't speak your native language, or how does that work?

rvnx 2y ago

With English you get to lose nuances and to simplify your thoughts. As a result, you cannot put exact words on your emotions or your thoughts and you start to think and feel differently (and not in a nicer way).

Tor3 2y ago
Hm.. I feel no difference there between my native language and English. I use the latter every day, and everything I read (and I read a lot) is in English - I've only read two books in my native language the last thirty years or so. I don't feel any difference in how I can express myself. However: I am kind of a different person when I speak English. My personality changes. Not for the worse though (and that's where I don't agree with the "and not in a nicer way", that's not how it is for me).
tsimionescu 2y ago
English is one of the languages on earth with by far the most words, and with some of the most extraordinary writers. You can give as much nuance as you want. The problem is that, as a non-native speaker, the words carry less emotional weight somehow than my native language. This is not specific to English, and it's not because of a lack of familiarity. It's most visible in swear words - I have no problem saying any swear word in English, while I still get slightly squeamish with certain swear words in my native language. It's basically a part of how you can't really absorb certain cultural aspects of a language, even if you learn about them. They're never going to be a part of your own internal culture if you didn't grow up with them.
- vasco 2y ago
  Exactly! Swear words are a great example, "I love you" another. "I love you" is just something "people say in movies and books", whereas the one in my language is what my mom told me. Big difference!
  - micah94 2y ago
    This is a profound statement.

t_akosuke 2y ago

I thought that was a pretty common thing to feel? I mean, the different personality thing. I had never thought about things not feeling so real... I'm gonna definitely meditate on that one for a while I also got sad when i started replacing my native language with English in my thoughts, and pushed myself to think in Spanish again, have more Spanish speakers around me etc. since i no longer live where i learned my native language, i speak a somewhat "foreign" to myself version of it, which introduced a new type of sadness - that of not being recognised as a local in your own home, losing a specific kind of personality that's bound to a specific place- but that's one I've learned to live with