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Lots of comments are saying this is disingenuous, but they are missing the fact that you have to care enough about your partner and relationship to get this app

by _yb2s 2y ago

Lots of comments are saying this is disingenuous, but they are missing the fact that you have to care enough about your partner and relationship to get this app, and actually follow through with the suggestions. There is nothing disingenuous about that, and, frankly, most people wouldn’t care or couldn’t be bothered enough to actually do it. As a busy adult with ADHD, a young kid, and a demanding job it is hard to remember to regularly surprise my partner and keep things fun, interesting, and unpredictable year after year. I always want to but can’t always remember to. I think this is a great idea. Personally, I would not follow the suggestions directly, but would add some personal creativity, or just use it as a concept to trigger my own ideas. I usually do already do surprise/ mystery dates and things like that when I remember to. That said, I won’t be trying this app because of the account requirements mentioned by others. Deal breaker for me.

Joakim_Habekost 2y ago
This comment made my day, I've been working for two years, day and night, and this is the most accurate representation of how I vision the world with Love Fuel. Thank you!
- bhaney 2y ago
  Your vision of the world with your app is that people don't use it because of its account requirements?
  - Joakim_Habekost 2y ago
    I think the comment above has been edited, me and my wife did not see the last sentence before now. It's very surprising to me that the Hacker News is so against having an account? Most of the internet requires one nowadays. I will keep following the direction/mood of the comments and react based a whole view, so far around +80 people have downloaded, with 4-5 people talked negatively about account requirements.
    - brnt 2y ago
      Much of the internet requiring it does not mean anyone likes it. Especially among the HN crowd.
    - manuelmoreale 2y ago
      “Most of the internet requires one” is not a good reason to require one when one is not needed. By this logic most of the internet is full of ads so you should go ahead and add those. By looking at your site i don’t see why an account is even necessary and that’s probably why people are rightfully complaining about it.
      - Joakim_Habekost 2y ago
        Very true, it is not a good reason, we do this for now due to the security, users calendar, notes, and partner related information is truly personal, so for now it's much more secure. But it's really interesting to see all the feedback, so thank you!!
        Terretta 2y ago
        Anything you put elsewhere is not more secure, unless you are more secure than Apple's servers, which seems highly unlikely. If you don't have it, it can't get compromised. The user has an iCloud account, you can write to iCloud storage without making them "sign in" to your app. It's their data, they can find it in the folder for your app in their iCloud drive on a Mac. And see https://developer.apple.com/game-center/ https://developer.apple.com/game-center/ for a way to let two users coordinate "play", multiplayer, turn based, achievements, etc., which cover most of the interaction you'd need. For sharing personality test, a person can do their own and their partner's, but for a better take on the partner you and your partner can each take your own test then generate a sharable fun code that captures the "bits" of the answers without repeating the test. As partners, you could tell each other the sharable code as a NFC bump or QR code to scan, or generate one of the word based codes like bitcoin wallet passwords. See BIP39: https://github.com/bitcoin/bips/blob/master/bip-0039 https://github.com/bitcoin/bips/blob/master/bip-0039. (This passphrase would be short if the test results distill down to a smaller set of outcomes, like 64 questions give 8 results. It would be long if you need all 64 questions' answers to match with.)
closewith 2y ago
> There is nothing disingenuous about that, and, frankly, most people wouldn’t care or couldn’t be bothered enough to actually do it. While I agree that there's nothing specifically wrong with using an app to inspire spontaneity, this seems oddly self-congratulatory. Actually, most long term partners manager to surprise each other just fine without an app. Just like using it wouldn't make you a bad partner, it doesn't mean you're automatically any better than anyone else either.
- _yb2s 2y ago
  Do they? Most marriages end in divorce, and most people I know in long term relationships are miserable. I think most people don’t manage fine and keeping a relationship strong is a skill that takes practice and deliberate effort to master.
  - closewith 2y ago
    Most marriages do not end in divorce. What nonsense.
    - _yb2s 2y ago
      Sure, so in the USA slightly under half end in divorce, but I’d argue that the vast majority of ones that don’t are miserable and if ended both would be better off- the tragedy isn’t the divorces but the even more common unhappily married. I say that as someone that is in a happy long term relationship after many hard won lessons, but I see that a lot of people are not… but could be if they either left or learned some key skills: how to communicate, how to be emotionally vulnerable, how to deal with a crisis as a team, how to set boundaries, how to communicate assertively without emotional manipulation, how to keep a relationship exciting and valuable for both people. Our culture generally does not equip people with the tools to make a relationship work long term, and many people are blindsided by the fact that it does not happen automatically. I’ve met maybe 1 or 2 people ever in the USA from my parents generation- Baby Boomers that is married but not miserable due to basically being a fully grown adult with the emotional maturity and communication skills of a toddler. Perhaps other countries and cultures better equip people with the skills they need.

by _yb2s 2y ago

Joakim_Habekost 2y ago

This comment made my day, I've been working for two years, day and night, and this is the most accurate representation of how I vision the world with Love Fuel. Thank you!

bhaney 2y ago
Your vision of the world with your app is that people don't use it because of its account requirements?
- Joakim_Habekost 2y ago
  I think the comment above has been edited, me and my wife did not see the last sentence before now. It's very surprising to me that the Hacker News is so against having an account? Most of the internet requires one nowadays. I will keep following the direction/mood of the comments and react based a whole view, so far around +80 people have downloaded, with 4-5 people talked negatively about account requirements.
  - brnt 2y ago
    Much of the internet requiring it does not mean anyone likes it. Especially among the HN crowd.
  - manuelmoreale 2y ago
    “Most of the internet requires one” is not a good reason to require one when one is not needed. By this logic most of the internet is full of ads so you should go ahead and add those. By looking at your site i don’t see why an account is even necessary and that’s probably why people are rightfully complaining about it.
    - Joakim_Habekost 2y ago
      Very true, it is not a good reason, we do this for now due to the security, users calendar, notes, and partner related information is truly personal, so for now it's much more secure. But it's really interesting to see all the feedback, so thank you!!
      - Terretta 2y ago
        Anything you put elsewhere is not more secure, unless you are more secure than Apple's servers, which seems highly unlikely. If you don't have it, it can't get compromised. The user has an iCloud account, you can write to iCloud storage without making them "sign in" to your app. It's their data, they can find it in the folder for your app in their iCloud drive on a Mac. And see https://developer.apple.com/game-center/ https://developer.apple.com/game-center/ for a way to let two users coordinate "play", multiplayer, turn based, achievements, etc., which cover most of the interaction you'd need. For sharing personality test, a person can do their own and their partner's, but for a better take on the partner you and your partner can each take your own test then generate a sharable fun code that captures the "bits" of the answers without repeating the test. As partners, you could tell each other the sharable code as a NFC bump or QR code to scan, or generate one of the word based codes like bitcoin wallet passwords. See BIP39: https://github.com/bitcoin/bips/blob/master/bip-0039 https://github.com/bitcoin/bips/blob/master/bip-0039. (This passphrase would be short if the test results distill down to a smaller set of outcomes, like 64 questions give 8 results. It would be long if you need all 64 questions' answers to match with.)

closewith 2y ago

> There is nothing disingenuous about that, and, frankly, most people wouldn’t care or couldn’t be bothered enough to actually do it. While I agree that there's nothing specifically wrong with using an app to inspire spontaneity, this seems oddly self-congratulatory. Actually, most long term partners manager to surprise each other just fine without an app. Just like using it wouldn't make you a bad partner, it doesn't mean you're automatically any better than anyone else either.

_yb2s 2y ago
Do they? Most marriages end in divorce, and most people I know in long term relationships are miserable. I think most people don’t manage fine and keeping a relationship strong is a skill that takes practice and deliberate effort to master.
- closewith 2y ago
  Most marriages do not end in divorce. What nonsense.
  - _yb2s 2y ago
    Sure, so in the USA slightly under half end in divorce, but I’d argue that the vast majority of ones that don’t are miserable and if ended both would be better off- the tragedy isn’t the divorces but the even more common unhappily married. I say that as someone that is in a happy long term relationship after many hard won lessons, but I see that a lot of people are not… but could be if they either left or learned some key skills: how to communicate, how to be emotionally vulnerable, how to deal with a crisis as a team, how to set boundaries, how to communicate assertively without emotional manipulation, how to keep a relationship exciting and valuable for both people. Our culture generally does not equip people with the tools to make a relationship work long term, and many people are blindsided by the fact that it does not happen automatically. I’ve met maybe 1 or 2 people ever in the USA from my parents generation- Baby Boomers that is married but not miserable due to basically being a fully grown adult with the emotional maturity and communication skills of a toddler. Perhaps other countries and cultures better equip people with the skills they need.