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I used to feel that way. But, after some contemplation, I realized how conceited that is. People are so multidimensional and have such varying experiences tha
by cjy 14y ago
I used to feel that way. But, after some contemplation, I realized how conceited that is. People are so multidimensional and have such varying experiences that it is arrogant to think that there is nothing interesting about someone you have just met. They may not be good at communicating and they may seem to be boring or shallow. But, they almost certainly have knowledge and experiences that are foreign to you. The trick is finding what they are. If someone can't find anything interesting about another human being, it probably says more about their lack of wonder than about the target's "interestingness" (although sometimes communication is the problem too). I really like watching Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe to see him converse with the people he is working with. If you were small talking with these people in the dentist office they might seem boring. But, Rowe is able to bring out their interestingness.
- jcc80 14y agoSame here, although I didn't contemplate the change. It just sort of happened somewhere in my late 20s. Late bloomer I guess? Always thought I was smart and understood people. But, now realize I missed plenty by not really getting it and finding what was interesting about others.
- cpeterso 14y agoDale Carnegie says that the secret to being a good conversationalist is to be a good listener. People like to talk, especially about themselves (and I don't really mean that in a bad way). If you are a shy person, ask questions that don't have short, dead-end answers (so no questions with binary yes/no answers) and you can "steer" the conversation while the other person does all the "peddling." ;) I highly recommend Dale Carnegie's classic How To Win Friends and Influence People. The title turns people off, but it is a classic "people person" book.