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I think a simple rule is to get the other person to do all the talking by asking them questions. Because most people tend to naturally talk about themselves yo
by jakejake 14y ago
I think a simple rule is to get the other person to do all the talking by asking them questions. Because most people tend to naturally talk about themselves you may have to force yourself in the opposite direction. If you're fairly conscious about keeping the other person talking, then you're less likely to go off on a boring rant about yourself.
- capsule_toy 14y agoThe best conversations I've had tend to have very few questions, and more comments going back and forth. Almost all conversations start with questions but the goal should be to reach a point where you aren't asking any questions at all.
- jakejake 14y agoAbsolutely, I suppose I meant that you should try to be aware and get the other person talking. In order to do that you need to find out what that person is interested in. Drilling them with questions isn't really the right approach, rather just steering the conversation in a direction that the other person seems to like. The very best conversation is going to be when you both happen to be interested in the same topic, in which case there's not much effort or social skill involved. That's easy. The difficult part is when you're at a situation like the OP mentioned with a lot of "small talk" going on and you are struggling to talk with people, feeling awkward, etc. Perhaps you want to have a friendly conversation with your grandma who is not into computers. Perhaps you're trying to network at a corporate event or you're just trying to chat up a girl/guy, etc. People who are very social are masters of making other people feel that they are interesting. They are usually very skilled at getting you talking.