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"Even if you're aware of the mental health issues associated with social media use, you have the option of either giving up and losing your kid to the phenomeno

"Even if you're aware of the mental health issues associated with social media use, you have the option of either giving up and losing your kid to the phenomenon, or giving them FOMO and complexes by depriving them of a phone." I absolutely choose "FOMO complexes". Just because other parents let their teens do pot and alcohol doesn't mean it's right for my kid. That same logic can extend to less harmful (or more legal or socially acceptable) things like TikTok brain rot.

Al-Khwarizmi 3y ago
I don't think it's comparable, for several reasons: 1. With pot and alcohol, the law is on your side. Any kid will understand that you don't let them do pot and alcohol, it isn't even legal. They may find workarounds if they are rebel enough, but at least they will understand your point of view just fine. With phones, even a normal, properly-raised kid can struggle to understand why you are depriving them from what their peers have, is commonly seen as normal and other parents may be actively validating. 2. If social media become the primary means of communication for the class, not using them means being marginalized. It's not even a matter of "they laugh at me because I don't drink", which can be overcome with self-esteem and self-confidence, even if it's difficult. It's a simple matter of people making plans and your kid not even finding out because they can't communicate. 3. The sheer magnitude of the phenomenon and the network effect. I can imagine that if your kid were in a class where 90% did pot, it would be very difficult if not impossible to stop them (other than by just sending them to a different school). But that kind of prevalence is common with social media...
- giantg2 3y ago
  I was saying the same type of thing can extend to the others. Yes, pot and alcohol are extreme examples. However there are still kids who would question it if others are allowed to and they aren't, especially if maybe they know their parents do pot in a state where it isn't legal. Event the network effects and marginalization can happen with substances. How many sober people do you see at college parties? There's some of that presenting in the high school crowds too. I'm wondering if there are any messenger clients that can basically strip out the other portions of social media if you really want to use it just for communication. I suppose with the mention of what is legal and what is not, we could start passing age laws on social media usage. Although many places have laws about the age needed for an email account. Seems to be generally ignored.
  - Al-Khwarizmi 3y ago
    There are social media that almost only have messaging (e.g. in my country everyone has Whatsapp) but I think the problem is once you give a kid a smartphone, it's going to be enormously difficult to effective control what they use. Most social media have web versions, you don't even need to install anything, and good luck putting some web filter once the kid is outside the home connecting to some WiFi... For similar reasons, legal age limits on social media wouldn't be very effective - age limits on smartphones probably would.

Al-Khwarizmi 3y ago

I don't think it's comparable, for several reasons: 1. With pot and alcohol, the law is on your side. Any kid will understand that you don't let them do pot and alcohol, it isn't even legal. They may find workarounds if they are rebel enough, but at least they will understand your point of view just fine. With phones, even a normal, properly-raised kid can struggle to understand why you are depriving them from what their peers have, is commonly seen as normal and other parents may be actively validating. 2. If social media become the primary means of communication for the class, not using them means being marginalized. It's not even a matter of "they laugh at me because I don't drink", which can be overcome with self-esteem and self-confidence, even if it's difficult. It's a simple matter of people making plans and your kid not even finding out because they can't communicate. 3. The sheer magnitude of the phenomenon and the network effect. I can imagine that if your kid were in a class where 90% did pot, it would be very difficult if not impossible to stop them (other than by just sending them to a different school). But that kind of prevalence is common with social media...

giantg2 3y ago
I was saying the same type of thing can extend to the others. Yes, pot and alcohol are extreme examples. However there are still kids who would question it if others are allowed to and they aren't, especially if maybe they know their parents do pot in a state where it isn't legal. Event the network effects and marginalization can happen with substances. How many sober people do you see at college parties? There's some of that presenting in the high school crowds too. I'm wondering if there are any messenger clients that can basically strip out the other portions of social media if you really want to use it just for communication. I suppose with the mention of what is legal and what is not, we could start passing age laws on social media usage. Although many places have laws about the age needed for an email account. Seems to be generally ignored.
- Al-Khwarizmi 3y ago
  There are social media that almost only have messaging (e.g. in my country everyone has Whatsapp) but I think the problem is once you give a kid a smartphone, it's going to be enormously difficult to effective control what they use. Most social media have web versions, you don't even need to install anything, and good luck putting some web filter once the kid is outside the home connecting to some WiFi... For similar reasons, legal age limits on social media wouldn't be very effective - age limits on smartphones probably would.