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That's a pretty strong claim to make completely unsupported by evidence. In fact, I think you'll find more people than ever before are settling down in their 30

That's a pretty strong claim to make completely unsupported by evidence. In fact, I think you'll find more people than ever before are settling down in their 30s and starting families, etc.

lelanthran 2y ago
>> if you mess up and haven't figured things out by the time you are in your 30s > In fact, I think you'll find more people than ever before are settling down in their 30s and starting families, etc. I did not interpret GP post to mean "If you haven't settled down and started a family by 30, you may as well give up". I interpreted it more as "If you haven't made a decent sized social network, or haven't figured out how to approach strangers, or haven't been in a committed/long-term/love/etc relationship, or didn't socialise enough to develop socialisation skills, etc... THEN you may as well give up!" I think the GP's point is that those people who are settling down in their 30s and starting families, well, they didn't mess up, and figured things out before age 30. Maybe he'll clarify, but I agree with my interpretation: if you haven't figured out romantic relationships by age 30, you may as well give up, because post-30 it's exceedingly difficult to find an environment with lots of socialising with peers. Almost impossible, in fact, because, as you said, most people are already out of that scene anyway...
- mlrtime 2y ago
  This is a incel mindset and very toxic. In reality this isn't black/white, but a spectrum. Some may have a harder time than others, but giving up is reductionary and depressing and leads nowhere.
  - lelanthran 2y ago
    > This is a incel mindset and very toxic. Is it really necessary to both slip in an insult and try to shame opposing ideas into silence before stating your point?
- coolThingsFirst 2y ago
  Obviously it is in the West in tech circles where everyone is introverted and they work 14 hour days. The protestant work ethic has decimated society and all that matters.
- Remnant44 2y ago
  I also disagree strongly with that. I live in Seattle (a city well known for being not social and welcoming - aka the seattle freeze), and didn't recover from being a shy introvert until around 30. The skills and mindset for human connection was hard for sure, but I found many pockets of really welcoming social environments around shared interests. My personal interests run to the outdoors, so for me it was hiking/biking/mountaineering/run clubs. However, groups and clubs around shared activities exist for almost any interest, and the whole point of them is to socialize and meet people! It DOES take some effort and discomfort, but it's not even close to "almost impossible".

That's a pretty strong claim to make completely unsupported by evidence. In fact, I think you'll find more people than ever before are settling down in their 30s and starting families, etc.

lelanthran 2y ago

>> if you mess up and haven't figured things out by the time you are in your 30s > In fact, I think you'll find more people than ever before are settling down in their 30s and starting families, etc. I did not interpret GP post to mean "If you haven't settled down and started a family by 30, you may as well give up". I interpreted it more as "If you haven't made a decent sized social network, or haven't figured out how to approach strangers, or haven't been in a committed/long-term/love/etc relationship, or didn't socialise enough to develop socialisation skills, etc... THEN you may as well give up!" I think the GP's point is that those people who are settling down in their 30s and starting families, well, they didn't mess up, and figured things out before age 30. Maybe he'll clarify, but I agree with my interpretation: if you haven't figured out romantic relationships by age 30, you may as well give up, because post-30 it's exceedingly difficult to find an environment with lots of socialising with peers. Almost impossible, in fact, because, as you said, most people are already out of that scene anyway...

mlrtime 2y ago
This is a incel mindset and very toxic. In reality this isn't black/white, but a spectrum. Some may have a harder time than others, but giving up is reductionary and depressing and leads nowhere.
- lelanthran 2y ago
  > This is a incel mindset and very toxic. Is it really necessary to both slip in an insult and try to shame opposing ideas into silence before stating your point?
coolThingsFirst 2y ago
Obviously it is in the West in tech circles where everyone is introverted and they work 14 hour days. The protestant work ethic has decimated society and all that matters.
Remnant44 2y ago
I also disagree strongly with that. I live in Seattle (a city well known for being not social and welcoming - aka the seattle freeze), and didn't recover from being a shy introvert until around 30. The skills and mindset for human connection was hard for sure, but I found many pockets of really welcoming social environments around shared interests. My personal interests run to the outdoors, so for me it was hiking/biking/mountaineering/run clubs. However, groups and clubs around shared activities exist for almost any interest, and the whole point of them is to socialize and meet people! It DOES take some effort and discomfort, but it's not even close to "almost impossible".