The main issue is that memory reporting tools don't handle paging well. You cannot tell if the ram is actually being used. You can only tell that some app has X

The main issue is that memory reporting tools don't handle paging well. You cannot tell if the ram is actually being used. You can only tell that some app has X amount in the allocation table which is often more likely backed by files on storage than actively used RAM. When you have lots of chrome tabs open the ram isn't being actively used. You may be using a tool that shows total memory allocated. I'd actually recommend looking for a tool that shows page table misses (points where the OS has to load from disk into RAM). Huge numbers of page table misses and actual noticable performance drops are more indicative of any actual problem than a simple allocation which can easily mislead just by having large files mapped.