This is what I think is not really being talked about: So I think women tend to lack mental models men seem to be inculcated with and this seems to be a separa

This is what I think is not really being talked about: So I think women tend to lack mental models men seem to be inculcated with and this seems to be a separate issue from the much more readily recognized issue of gender discrimination. And you don't talk about it either. You talk about things like subconscious bias in other people. Bias in other people gets talked about a great deal. It certainly is a real issue but I don't think it fully explains the issue and I think bias and stereotypes have some basis in reality, which people don't like hearing. Most people "bet the odds" when interacting socially. If bosses tend to be white males, white males get assumed to be the boss instead of the woman or person of color who really is in charge. It makes "minorities" -- i.e. the people subjected to bias -- really crazy but lots of people actively justify navigating the world this way as the convenient and logical answer and feel that "only an idiot" would waste their time on checking if this is the 10 or 20 percent of the time or whatever that it's not true. The thing we don't discuss is the degree to which women get effectively brainwashed and trained from birth to assume her man's career comes first, she will do the cooking and cleaning, etc. It's so invisible you are telling me "it gets discussed" and not noticing that what you think I'm talking about isn't my point at all. Real world bias exists which actively discriminates against women in all kinds of careers. But there is a more insidious force which convinces women to think and act in ways which undermine their careers and we tend to be older before we have put some of that behind us.