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Because they see you're active on WhatsApp or telegram :) I switched off the blue tickmarks in WhatsApp and even that really triggered people.

• gruez 3y ago
  Can't you just read messages from the Notification Center if you want to avoid it showing up as "read"?
  • 1_1xdev1 3y ago
    But then anyone else that can see my phone screen can read them :)
    • gruez 3y ago
      You mean the message contents, or that you received a notification at all? On both ios and android you should be able to configure the notification so the contents are not shown, so it shows that there's a notification from whatsapp but not the message itself.