4 ms·

I almost if not always by experience tends to be the complete opposite... go ahead try interacting with those 'physically attractive' people.

jajko 2y ago
You talk about those that are already spoiled by their environment, I guess we all have seen it more than once. Attractive women are 'hit' by this particularly hard - all those guys trying to get them to bed, get another score, the curve is exponential with beauty. Women usually hit on guys they like with much more subtlety, and stop when told directly immediately. Men, often not so much, even these days. One of my ex-gf (pretty, smart, rich, very hard working commodity trader) told me on a bad day its about 30 unknown guys who try to strike conversation out of blue, 'go to coffee', etc. She was so tired of this since she saw every possible pick up line, every situation they tried to create, every expensive cocktail sent her way. Its extremely hard for women to not get spoiled by such constant attack, imagine this constantly from teen years, it drills into your personality. Those who persist despite this are really awesome, driven and very strong internally, or broken beyond repair in some way. My ex was a mix of both. Good luck to her wherever she ended up. Yes, its mostly fault of us guys, even if only all those before you.
- fsckboy 2y ago
  >She was so tired of this that when she ages out of it she'll look at her craggy face in the mirror and breathe a sigh of relief? very likely not. not criticizing her or the men hitting on her, we are animals who try to spread our genes, and we like being found attractive as much as we like finding attractive. It creates a bit of a prison for us, it's impossible to be free of the side effects.
  - HeatrayEnjoyer 2y ago
    > >She was so tired of this > > that when she ages out of it she'll look at her craggy face in the mirror and breathe a sigh of relief? very likely not. A friend of mine expressed relief when she reached her 30s. She still looks good but isn't treated like a piece of meat by men literally every single day any more.
    - blowski 2y ago
      Michel Houellebecq observes that a beautiful girl in her 20s will be confused in her 30s at the paucity of men holding doors open for her.
- Rinzler89 2y ago
  >Yes, its mostly fault of us guys How is it guys' fault for wanting to strike up conversation with females they find attractive? If you always avoid doing this on the excuse that "oh well, she's probably already had 30 guys hit her up today, I should just not even try", you'll die alone and write yourself out of the gene pool.
- andai 2y ago
  >Those who persist despite this Persist at what?
- banish-m4 2y ago
  People, on average, have a hard time being cool and treating another person as their equal and as a normal human being. People who bring more love, positive vibes, and value to others without resting on privilege or manipulation and don't snub people through unreasonable snap prejudices are the cool ones. That's worth a million times more than looks or wealth.
- TMWNN 2y ago
  >Attractive women are 'hit' by this particularly hard - all those guys trying to get them to bed, get another score, the curve is exponential with beauty. Bill Bradley's Life on the Run discusses this. Bradley was the * #1 high school basketball player in the country * #1 college basketball player in the country at Princeton * Rhodes Scholar * NBA player * US Senator * ran for President From high school on, Bradley avoided the many, many women who wanted to date him just because he was a celebrity. In Life on the Run, written during his NBA career, he wrote about how such experiences gave him an understanding of what life is like for beautiful women: "the unnaturalness of being a sex object".
  - pants2 2y ago
    I once - by complete chance - sat next to Henry Cavill at a bar. He was trying to talk to a friend and then an attractive woman interrupted them almost right away to strike up conversation with him. Over the next hour I watched dozens of women come over, throwing themselves at him. It was eye-opening seeing the way he was treated, I actually felt kinda bad for the guy. He was trying to have a nice drink with a friend but was treated like some sort of show animal.
    - sandspar 2y ago
      Fame is a 100x multiplier for these things. Harrison Ford talked about his sudden fame. "As a young actor, you spend your life observing people. Then, suddenly, everyone is staring at you."
      - TMWNN 2y ago
        Ford was 35 when Star Wars came out. Overnight he went from an actor who worked as a carpenter to pay his bills, to to one of the three leads on the biggest film franchise of the century. When he went to a record store to buy an album, fans ripped half his shirt off.
edanm 2y ago
This is both a stupid and offensive stereotype. Judging people based on their looks is wrong.
- rstuart4133 2y ago
  > Judging people based on their looks is wrong. I'm no expert in morals, so I won't comment on that. But wrong or not I'm pretty sure it's a useful tool in assessing people. Not assessing their innate "good given looks" of course, but to look really good you have to put effort into it. Real effort - studying fashion trends, purchasing decisions, time spent on personal grooming. Time spent doing that is time they could have doesn't dining other things, like learning their craft. Go too far the other way to the extent of ignoring personal hygiene and it shows a lack of respect for their fellow workers. I've never interviewed anyone who deviated too far from the norms, so they are fairly well known and respected. Still, it's not difficult to imagine an attire that would get a near automatic reject. It would trigger questions that help me understand why they chose to look so different from the norms, like cultural background and family background - things I normally wouldn't spend any time on.
  - edanm 2y ago
    I didn't want to put too many caveats in my original statement, but yes - there's a difference between judging someone on physical attributes they can change vs. on attributes they can't. How you dress is a valid signal of something, how much effort you put into your appearance is a valid signal of something too. But even past a baseline of putting some effort into looks, there is still some difference between how good different people look. Judging based on that is stupid (because it's not actually correlative with anything) and immoral (same reason).

jajko 2y ago

You talk about those that are already spoiled by their environment, I guess we all have seen it more than once. Attractive women are 'hit' by this particularly hard - all those guys trying to get them to bed, get another score, the curve is exponential with beauty. Women usually hit on guys they like with much more subtlety, and stop when told directly immediately. Men, often not so much, even these days. One of my ex-gf (pretty, smart, rich, very hard working commodity trader) told me on a bad day its about 30 unknown guys who try to strike conversation out of blue, 'go to coffee', etc. She was so tired of this since she saw every possible pick up line, every situation they tried to create, every expensive cocktail sent her way. Its extremely hard for women to not get spoiled by such constant attack, imagine this constantly from teen years, it drills into your personality. Those who persist despite this are really awesome, driven and very strong internally, or broken beyond repair in some way. My ex was a mix of both. Good luck to her wherever she ended up. Yes, its mostly fault of us guys, even if only all those before you.

fsckboy 2y ago
>She was so tired of this that when she ages out of it she'll look at her craggy face in the mirror and breathe a sigh of relief? very likely not. not criticizing her or the men hitting on her, we are animals who try to spread our genes, and we like being found attractive as much as we like finding attractive. It creates a bit of a prison for us, it's impossible to be free of the side effects.
- HeatrayEnjoyer 2y ago
  > >She was so tired of this > > that when she ages out of it she'll look at her craggy face in the mirror and breathe a sigh of relief? very likely not. A friend of mine expressed relief when she reached her 30s. She still looks good but isn't treated like a piece of meat by men literally every single day any more.
  - blowski 2y ago
    Michel Houellebecq observes that a beautiful girl in her 20s will be confused in her 30s at the paucity of men holding doors open for her.
Rinzler89 2y ago
>Yes, its mostly fault of us guys How is it guys' fault for wanting to strike up conversation with females they find attractive? If you always avoid doing this on the excuse that "oh well, she's probably already had 30 guys hit her up today, I should just not even try", you'll die alone and write yourself out of the gene pool.
andai 2y ago
>Those who persist despite this Persist at what?
banish-m4 2y ago
People, on average, have a hard time being cool and treating another person as their equal and as a normal human being. People who bring more love, positive vibes, and value to others without resting on privilege or manipulation and don't snub people through unreasonable snap prejudices are the cool ones. That's worth a million times more than looks or wealth.
TMWNN 2y ago
>Attractive women are 'hit' by this particularly hard - all those guys trying to get them to bed, get another score, the curve is exponential with beauty. Bill Bradley's Life on the Run discusses this. Bradley was the * #1 high school basketball player in the country * #1 college basketball player in the country at Princeton * Rhodes Scholar * NBA player * US Senator * ran for President From high school on, Bradley avoided the many, many women who wanted to date him just because he was a celebrity. In Life on the Run, written during his NBA career, he wrote about how such experiences gave him an understanding of what life is like for beautiful women: "the unnaturalness of being a sex object".
- pants2 2y ago
  I once - by complete chance - sat next to Henry Cavill at a bar. He was trying to talk to a friend and then an attractive woman interrupted them almost right away to strike up conversation with him. Over the next hour I watched dozens of women come over, throwing themselves at him. It was eye-opening seeing the way he was treated, I actually felt kinda bad for the guy. He was trying to have a nice drink with a friend but was treated like some sort of show animal.
  - sandspar 2y ago
    Fame is a 100x multiplier for these things. Harrison Ford talked about his sudden fame. "As a young actor, you spend your life observing people. Then, suddenly, everyone is staring at you."
    - TMWNN 2y ago
      Ford was 35 when Star Wars came out. Overnight he went from an actor who worked as a carpenter to pay his bills, to to one of the three leads on the biggest film franchise of the century. When he went to a record store to buy an album, fans ripped half his shirt off.

edanm 2y ago

This is both a stupid and offensive stereotype. Judging people based on their looks is wrong.

rstuart4133 2y ago
> Judging people based on their looks is wrong. I'm no expert in morals, so I won't comment on that. But wrong or not I'm pretty sure it's a useful tool in assessing people. Not assessing their innate "good given looks" of course, but to look really good you have to put effort into it. Real effort - studying fashion trends, purchasing decisions, time spent on personal grooming. Time spent doing that is time they could have doesn't dining other things, like learning their craft. Go too far the other way to the extent of ignoring personal hygiene and it shows a lack of respect for their fellow workers. I've never interviewed anyone who deviated too far from the norms, so they are fairly well known and respected. Still, it's not difficult to imagine an attire that would get a near automatic reject. It would trigger questions that help me understand why they chose to look so different from the norms, like cultural background and family background - things I normally wouldn't spend any time on.
- edanm 2y ago
  I didn't want to put too many caveats in my original statement, but yes - there's a difference between judging someone on physical attributes they can change vs. on attributes they can't. How you dress is a valid signal of something, how much effort you put into your appearance is a valid signal of something too. But even past a baseline of putting some effort into looks, there is still some difference between how good different people look. Judging based on that is stupid (because it's not actually correlative with anything) and immoral (same reason).