8 ms·

I don't understand the point you're trying to make. I for one deleted all of those platforms and my life is definitely better (I'm way less distracted for once

• thinkingemote 3y ago
  Do you live or work with others? Do you have a family or children? Do you interact in meaningful ways with people online? I ask seriously (but no need to reply, this is to aid understanding) as many here on HN do not have all of these so the range of examples may be narrowed for some people. I would however imagine you have some relationships of some kind that you care about. Can you imagine your relationships changing if these others you cared about changed their behaviours? Then extend this imaginary possibility to the relationships of these others. It's a network we are in we are not operating entirely alone. Care of the other is wanting what is good for the other. Sometimes this care is not forcing the other to change, sometimes it's encouraging them to change to benefit them as it benefited you.
  • deleted 3y ago
    [deleted]
  • XorNot 3y ago
    How is this not the OP's exact point? If you're not forcing people to change - by banning things with the violence of government - then you're simply making an argument to people and hoping they listen, just as we ever have to.
• unclebucknasty 3y ago
  >What do I care what others do Because we live in a society? Would you care if everyone around you was smoking crack, sociopathic or seriously mentally ill?
  • kys_now 3y ago
    [dead]
• EMIRELADERO 3y ago
  The commenter is arguing from a broad "what's good for society" sense, not on strict individuality. While I disagree with the whole idea of legislating access to social media/internet services in any way (RIP anonymity), I do think there can be valid places and times for regulation that seeks to change society itself, not just individuals.
  • unclebucknasty 3y ago
    >RIP anonymity Maybe anonymity has had a good run and is actually at the root of the issue in many contexts. After all, people don't (generally) walk around IRL wearing ski masks so they can say crazy shit or troll people without consequence. And we also get the courtesy of knowing who the people we're talking to actually are. And if you say, "yeah but doxxing and death threats" or "my employer might fire me", etc then maybe these are the actual problems that need to be addressed. And, yes, I realize that's coming from someone who's IRL neither Uncle Buck or Buc Nasty, as his handle might imply. But, obviously that's where we currently are, which is the point.
    • AlexandrB 3y ago
      IRL nobody is running facial recognition tech and uniquely identifying you. And, despite what your teachers told you, no one is keeping a permanent record of the minutia of your life. So I know my neighbor is "George", but I don't know anything about his political opinions, where he shops, how he treats waiters, or what kind of porn he watches. Thus he's not anonymous, but his daily activities are generally private and ephemeral. The internet flips this on its head because pseudonymous handles can be linked to reams of online activity that's retained effectively forever but can't be connected to a specific person. This is why "doxxing" is such a big deal online. If online activity was like IRL activity and ephemeral, I might agree with you. But the internet never forgets. Edit: By the way, this is not universally defined: > say crazy shit "Crazy shit" is very culturally and contextually dependent. If I condemn China's treatment of Uyghurs, that's fine in North America but considered "crazy shit" and can land you in jail in China. That's an extreme example, but there are plenty of other more banal differences in culture and what's acceptable globally.
• stareatgoats 3y ago
  > What do I care what others do? While a perfectly fine rule of thumb in general, I think you might find the sticking to "I don't care what other people do" as an overriding principle doesn't hold water in a substantial number of edge cases. One such case is where someone is willfully influencing others to act against their best interests, or against the best interest of society as a whole. That's when one needs to make a judgement call on a case by case basis. Is this such a case? Not sure. I just wanted to point out that "I don't care what other people do" can't be your guiding light, always.
  • epolanski 3y ago
    I might have expressed myself poorly. I "don't care" what others do in the strict sense that I don't let it influence me. But I can tell you that me quitting socials did impact relatives and friends to quit those too, and thus I absolutely do not relate with his statement: > It doesn't matter whether you abstain from using Instagram or not
    • raziel2p 3y ago
      I'm glad that you were able to convince all your meaningful friends and family to change their social media / internet behavior according to your values - but please don't assume that it's a viable option for everyone, with no downsides.
      • ctoth 3y ago
        But have you tried?
• josephg 3y ago
  > What do I care what others do? I’ve done the same, but it’s not without cost: - Two hobbies I’m involved with have large local communities on Facebook. I’m not in the loop, and sometimes miss out on events and catchups. - I’m not on Twitter, and there’s a massive amount of chat about my field (realtime collaborative editing & local first software) that takes place there. I miss out on what’s going on, and I’m reliant on other people to promote my work for me. Im happier. But it’s you really are cut off from a lot of society - especially in the tech world - if you aren’t on social media.
  • ranguna 3y ago
    You can join those communities and discussions with "work" accounts. Instead of creating a personal twitter or meta account, you could create one that is only used to join those specific groups and discussion.
    • pjerem 3y ago
      Yes you can. But then, you have an account. Most people that dont have an account on social medias just don’t want to accept the TOS. Also worth noting that it sounds like meta thinks like they already have all earth population in their products because new accounts are really easily banned for no reason. Any temporary account I made to access some information have been blocked minutes or hours after creation.
    • notachatbot1234 3y ago
      Those sites are designed to exploit you psychologically in various ways (ads, order of display, design, gamified interaction etcetera). The purpose of your account does not matter if you cannot access and consume the information in a reasonable and healthy way.
  • randomdata 3y ago
    Twitter is also where the discussion about my field takes place. What's not to like? I find Twitter's recommendation algorithm does a great job of honing the content down to just the relevant information I need and then I can go back to carrying on with life. Before Twitter, you had to go to the coffee shop and listen to people ramble on with their inane political rants and conspiracy theories just to get at the occasional tidbit of useful field-related information. That was depressing.
• kredd 3y ago
  If you have children or niblings, you’ll realize how ostracized from the community one gets if they have no access to social media. It would work if parents banded together and nobody in school would get access, but otherwise it just becomes a “there’s a giant club and you’re not a part of it”. As a child, that really hurts. When I was in high school, Facebook was just opening up access to everyone. I remember literally everyone getting on it, and swapping between messages in MSN, and some posts on FB. We had whole school wide conversations, planning and etc. on social media, and on days when I didn’t get in front of the computer to check things, I remember feeling left out. It’s just so much worse now, because every kid expects every other kid to be on the loop of things 24/7. I think that’s where we screwed up. Having just casual access without mobile phones was the sweet spot, in my opinion.
  • rTX5CMRXIfFG 3y ago
    But why do you make it sound like it’s not an option to teach kids to not have fear of missing out and having meaningful ways of spending their time in the real, offline world? I guarantee you that there is nothing of value that other teens are saying that your own children need to be updated 24/7
    • gommm 3y ago
      I also guarantee you that a teen who is not in the loop is much more likely to be ostracized and bullied in the offline world. So, yes you might try teaching your kid that they're not missing out that they can find more meaningful way to spend their time in the real offline world but, the fact is, they go to schools with kid who overwhelmingly are not taught that and who will dislike your kid for being different. Your kid doesn't live in isolation, he lives in society and, during school years is when social pressure to conform to the group norm is strongest. I'm speaking from experience here, I've been bullied as a teen, I definitely would rather avoid my son going through a similar experience.
      • rTX5CMRXIfFG 3y ago
        Eh, that’s not necessarily true. Other kids might bully your child for having a healthy set of offline interests and for not being like them who are all plugged in online, but I don’t see how it’s not an option to teach your kids to have a strong sense of identity and not give in to peer pressure while also assuring them that you’ve always got their back. What you’re describing doesn’t sound like parenting to me, it’s giving in to peer pressure. From kids. And you’re supposed to be an adult who already knows what’s right and wrong. If your kid’s peers all gain a liking for drugs or gambling or some other vice and they bully your child for not partaking, are you going to tell your child to participate? No, what you should do is show them the right way and to what’s good for them in the long term, even if it’s difficult for them to see it now because of their youth.
• JodieBenitez 3y ago
  > What do I care what others do? example from real life: My local musicians community decided to use only FB to communicate their gigs dates. I refuse to use FB. I no longer know when or where is the gig. I don't see my fellows anymore.
  • 10729287 3y ago
    How hard is it to discuss this topic with other people that have access to fb when you meet them around the city ? Honest question. Sure, it require more involvement than opening the Facebook tap and getting everything instantly, but at the end of the day, isn't your goal to getting involved in the community ? This will require some energy.
    • JodieBenitez 3y ago
      See above
    • boppo1 3y ago
      You are out of touch. Scenes and events really are that reliant on facebook. "Hey man, when/where's the next show?" "We dunno yet, but we'll post an event about it for sure." There are some small, insular scenes where everybody knows everybody and word gets around, but those are getting fewer every day.
  • forgetfreeman 3y ago
    Maybe text or call a couple friends in the community once a week?
    • JodieBenitez 3y ago
      Been there, done that... "it's all on the page, just check it mate". And suddenly you're that annoying weirdo that refuses to do things like everybody else.
      • forgetfreeman 3y ago
• raziel2p 3y ago
  My life is also better, overall. However, I do miss out on important life updates from my friends because I'm not on Instagram. I could be a hardliner and say "well they don't care about me enough to share 1-on-1, so they're not real friends", but that's... stupid. I feel sad for missing out on opportunities to take part in their lives and life updates that way, and I know for a fact that there are rich connections/conversations that would happen if I were able to use these in a healthy way.
  • randomdata 3y ago
    What do you talk about with your friends if the important life events don't come up? Perhaps I just have boring friends that we resort to sometimes talking about what is going on in our lives. I also wouldn't feel like less of a friend if they didn't tell me something, but important life events in their lives are usually important to them, which means that they ultimately end up talking about them in some way or another.
• abc123abc123 3y ago
  I agree. Same here. The only social media I have is mastodon and usenet. Yes, I live and work with others and email and phone is sufficient. If people try to get me to use slck I refuse. If I cannot refuse, I deploy my slck2email bridge and reply once every 24 hours and usually colleagues stop chatting with me when they realize they won't get an answer until 24 hours, or they drop by my desk, email or call me on the phone if it is urgent. I think a lot of the complaints from people who "cannot stop" is just laziness. They need the government to construct an excuse so they won't have to man up and take control of their own lives. That is also sad, because it means those people will never grow up but will be constant children in the eyes of the state. Then I would say there are the 0.01% who do have psychological problems and they need to see a doctor.
• coldtea 3y ago
  If you don't live in a society but in some remote wilderness and hunt for your food, then you don't need to care what others do. If you do live in a society, you do need to care, as "what others do" affects society in general, including you in the end. Affects how they behave, how they vote, what causes they support, their mental health, and tons of other things, all of which end up also affecting those who don't use those apps.
• doktrin 3y ago
  > What do I care what others do? This is libertarian virtue signalling that simply does not stand up to reality.