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> My theory is that to meet a new person and have it be substantial, you basically need to spend a few hours, a few times per week, in the same space doing some

> My theory is that to meet a new person and have it be substantial, you basically need to spend a few hours, a few times per week, in the same space doing some arbitrarily interesting thing for a common reason, without being too eager but with a signaled sense of openness. I like this concept, and I feel like I've experienced this as well, but I'm having trouble picturing an example of what you're describing, practically speaking, for the average city-dweller. Care to elaborate on this?

klyrs 2y ago
I kinda met a gal in a class I was taking at a community center. Couldn't tell if she's into me or just nice; didn't push it. Maybe I'll see her in another class in the future, but I'm there to learn.
- throwaway2037 2y ago
  Why is this downvoted? It answers the GP. It seems reasonable to me. Taking classes at the community center sounds like a good way to meet people.
  - abnercoimbre 2y ago
    Made no sense to downvote him, it's actually relevant to the discussion.
    - klyrs 2y ago
      Her, but alright.
      - abnercoimbre 2y ago
        Sorry. I'm gay, I get it :)
        klyrs 2y ago
        That's... what she said? No; if she had, I'd have been more forward. :)
rsanheim 2y ago
This the much discussed “third place” that has all but disappeared in much of western life. See _Bowling Alone_ for a very early (pre social media) analysis of this idea. A third place could be a coffee shop, a bar, a church, a softball league, a book store, or even just a nice park. By and large people don’t go to these places nearly as much anymore, except to consume and leave. And if they do go there they are on their phones until they finish their transaction and leave.
- Tade0 2y ago
  > This the much discussed “third place” that has all but disappeared in much of western life. American life if anything really. Southern Europeans especially are an extreme example of how it is to essentially live outside.
rpacut 2y ago
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anonfornoreason 2y ago
Lots of opportunities for friendship in something like jiu jitsu. It's not for everyone, but it's interesting because it is a physically close sport, you get used to basically hugging everyone for a sport, it's both physically and intellectually hard to learn, and there's a common language around it. Easy to identify people at your skill level and meetup for open mats, share videos of techniques, etc. There's a million examples of this out there, regardless of what you find interesting. Art, music, sport, working out, adventure, travel, computers, flying, whatever. I find it baffling people keep talking about disappearing third spaces. There's so much opportunity to do interesting things with interesting people!
- luzojeda 2y ago
  Paid classes of X never have been or ever will be third places. Because you have to pay a determinate amount to participate. One of the requisites for a place to be a _third_ place is you aren't obligated to spend money (or not a significant amount of it) to stay an amount of time where you can chat and make friends casually. That doesn't mean you can't make friends here but when we talk about third places we mean something else.

klyrs 2y ago

I kinda met a gal in a class I was taking at a community center. Couldn't tell if she's into me or just nice; didn't push it. Maybe I'll see her in another class in the future, but I'm there to learn.

throwaway2037 2y ago
Why is this downvoted? It answers the GP. It seems reasonable to me. Taking classes at the community center sounds like a good way to meet people.
- abnercoimbre 2y ago
  Made no sense to downvote him, it's actually relevant to the discussion.
  - klyrs 2y ago
    Her, but alright.
    - abnercoimbre 2y ago
      Sorry. I'm gay, I get it :)
      - klyrs 2y ago
        That's... what she said? No; if she had, I'd have been more forward. :)

rsanheim 2y ago

This the much discussed “third place” that has all but disappeared in much of western life. See _Bowling Alone_ for a very early (pre social media) analysis of this idea. A third place could be a coffee shop, a bar, a church, a softball league, a book store, or even just a nice park. By and large people don’t go to these places nearly as much anymore, except to consume and leave. And if they do go there they are on their phones until they finish their transaction and leave.

Tade0 2y ago
> This the much discussed “third place” that has all but disappeared in much of western life. American life if anything really. Southern Europeans especially are an extreme example of how it is to essentially live outside.

rpacut 2y ago

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anonfornoreason 2y ago

Lots of opportunities for friendship in something like jiu jitsu. It's not for everyone, but it's interesting because it is a physically close sport, you get used to basically hugging everyone for a sport, it's both physically and intellectually hard to learn, and there's a common language around it. Easy to identify people at your skill level and meetup for open mats, share videos of techniques, etc. There's a million examples of this out there, regardless of what you find interesting. Art, music, sport, working out, adventure, travel, computers, flying, whatever. I find it baffling people keep talking about disappearing third spaces. There's so much opportunity to do interesting things with interesting people!

luzojeda 2y ago
Paid classes of X never have been or ever will be third places. Because you have to pay a determinate amount to participate. One of the requisites for a place to be a _third_ place is you aren't obligated to spend money (or not a significant amount of it) to stay an amount of time where you can chat and make friends casually. That doesn't mean you can't make friends here but when we talk about third places we mean something else.