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> "Users rated Asian men and Black women as less attractive than their counterparts..." Attraction isn't a choice or a preference. No one can control who they'

> "Users rated Asian men and Black women as less attractive than their counterparts..." Attraction isn't a choice or a preference. No one can control who they're attracted to. Dating sites "automating racism" = showing you people that you're likely to be attracted to. Nothing is wrong with that.

readthenotes1 3y ago
Funny how she made that out to be anti-Black and anti-Asian without confirming a similar bias against Black men and Asian women. It's almost as if it went counter to her desired narrative.
Ajay-p 3y ago
That is what I got out of the article, too. Attraction for most people is truly innate, it is not something they can really control. If someone prefers to only date within their race, culture, whatever, that should be fine. That is their personal choice; after all you don't have to date them if you don't like their preferences. This article just seems like more race-baiting and trying to identify a problem, and a victim class, where there really isn't one.
- threatofrain 3y ago
  Attraction might not be something you have as much control over, but I wonder if it's something where parents have meaningfully more control? Will the experience of your sexuality really be unchanged if you grew up in US vs China? Muslim vs atheist household?
  - wincy 2y ago
    I think it’s just who you’re around when you’re hitting puberty, if I’m being honest. My school was pretty diverse mix of black and white, and a lot of my high school classmates got married to each other and are interracial couples. So send your kids to a diverse school with lots of intermingling and life will uhh, find a way.
  - derekperkins 2y ago
    Anecdata: I'm a white American who grew up in China and it didn't impact me, nor in my experience most of the kids in my international school. Single adults who go back however are more likely to self select based on attraction.
maxglute 2y ago
>Attraction isn't a choice or a preference. Attraction is mediated by culture, i.e. there's uptick in Asian men attractiveness after kpop phenomenon at least in under 30s. Dating sites can do a "DEI" and brute force more variety into skew percentages of click throughs through mere exposure effect. They can remove option to filter by race or height or whatever physical characteristics. But that's competitive suicide vs dating sites that don't. There's nothing legally wrong with automating racism, but that's also more or less what it is. People don't "control" who they're attracted to, but platforms that mediate / gatekeep how people percieve attractiveness can mess with the dials, if they wanted to.
- insickness 2y ago
  > Dating sites can do a "DEI" and brute force more variety into skew percentages of click throughs through mere exposure effect. Why stop at forcing people to choose different races? Let's force women to date men who are short, bald, unemployed or homeless. Let's force men to date women who are overweight, elderly and annoying. Let's take the 'market' out of the dating market.
  - jjj123 2y ago
    The parent comment didn’t say force to date, it’s more like don’t allow filtering by race. Many gay apps explicitly don’t have this feature already.
- raxxorraxor 2y ago
  I believe that people who see a need to control dating preferences of others should take a step back and consider reorientation. I cannot see any gatekeeping of platforms here either for that matter. Dating isn't fair, often it is opportunity, chance or pure luck. The attempt to correct anything here will likely not bear any fruits, on the contrary. I also use another definition of racism. The belief or often conscious conviction a race or ethnicity is superior to others due to intrinsic biological/mental advantages. I am not racist against anyone I might not consider attractive.
MrSkelter 2y ago
Attraction isn’t innate. It’s learnt. That’s why wherever you are in the world you will find people you are attracted to. It’s also why body types like the Kardashians are considered attractive today and were not 30 years ago. If you are constantly presented with people from a narrow group to the exclusion of others you will reinforce prejudices. One reason Asian men are deemed less attractive in the west is the way our media has traditionally portrayed them. K-pop and the Internet are starting to change that. Black women are also suffering under centuries of negative stereotyping. It’s the stereotypes that are unattractive. People are all unique.

readthenotes1 3y ago

Funny how she made that out to be anti-Black and anti-Asian without confirming a similar bias against Black men and Asian women. It's almost as if it went counter to her desired narrative.

Ajay-p 3y ago

That is what I got out of the article, too. Attraction for most people is truly innate, it is not something they can really control. If someone prefers to only date within their race, culture, whatever, that should be fine. That is their personal choice; after all you don't have to date them if you don't like their preferences. This article just seems like more race-baiting and trying to identify a problem, and a victim class, where there really isn't one.

threatofrain 3y ago
Attraction might not be something you have as much control over, but I wonder if it's something where parents have meaningfully more control? Will the experience of your sexuality really be unchanged if you grew up in US vs China? Muslim vs atheist household?
- wincy 2y ago
  I think it’s just who you’re around when you’re hitting puberty, if I’m being honest. My school was pretty diverse mix of black and white, and a lot of my high school classmates got married to each other and are interracial couples. So send your kids to a diverse school with lots of intermingling and life will uhh, find a way.
- derekperkins 2y ago
  Anecdata: I'm a white American who grew up in China and it didn't impact me, nor in my experience most of the kids in my international school. Single adults who go back however are more likely to self select based on attraction.

maxglute 2y ago

>Attraction isn't a choice or a preference. Attraction is mediated by culture, i.e. there's uptick in Asian men attractiveness after kpop phenomenon at least in under 30s. Dating sites can do a "DEI" and brute force more variety into skew percentages of click throughs through mere exposure effect. They can remove option to filter by race or height or whatever physical characteristics. But that's competitive suicide vs dating sites that don't. There's nothing legally wrong with automating racism, but that's also more or less what it is. People don't "control" who they're attracted to, but platforms that mediate / gatekeep how people percieve attractiveness can mess with the dials, if they wanted to.

insickness 2y ago
> Dating sites can do a "DEI" and brute force more variety into skew percentages of click throughs through mere exposure effect. Why stop at forcing people to choose different races? Let's force women to date men who are short, bald, unemployed or homeless. Let's force men to date women who are overweight, elderly and annoying. Let's take the 'market' out of the dating market.
- jjj123 2y ago
  The parent comment didn’t say force to date, it’s more like don’t allow filtering by race. Many gay apps explicitly don’t have this feature already.
raxxorraxor 2y ago
I believe that people who see a need to control dating preferences of others should take a step back and consider reorientation. I cannot see any gatekeeping of platforms here either for that matter. Dating isn't fair, often it is opportunity, chance or pure luck. The attempt to correct anything here will likely not bear any fruits, on the contrary. I also use another definition of racism. The belief or often conscious conviction a race or ethnicity is superior to others due to intrinsic biological/mental advantages. I am not racist against anyone I might not consider attractive.

MrSkelter 2y ago

Attraction isn’t innate. It’s learnt. That’s why wherever you are in the world you will find people you are attracted to. It’s also why body types like the Kardashians are considered attractive today and were not 30 years ago. If you are constantly presented with people from a narrow group to the exclusion of others you will reinforce prejudices. One reason Asian men are deemed less attractive in the west is the way our media has traditionally portrayed them. K-pop and the Internet are starting to change that. Black women are also suffering under centuries of negative stereotyping. It’s the stereotypes that are unattractive. People are all unique.