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Mostly good advice but there’s one bit that made me frown a little. “Second, deliver negative news in 2-3 escalating phases. For example, start by softly expre

Mostly good advice but there’s one bit that made me frown a little. “Second, deliver negative news in 2-3 escalating phases. For example, start by softly expressing the possibility of a problem to give people time to adjust. The next time, state the problem as fact.” Your audience is (hopefully) smart. This pattern will be obvious by the third time you use it and you’ll lose trust because it’ll seem like you’re trying to cushion the bad news.

cal85 3y ago
How will this pattern become obvious (assuming you also comply with point 15)?
- throwaway290 3y ago
  It's not good if people start expecting a catastrophe as soon as you say "we may have a slight hiccup" People adjust and you would be forced to be more and more positive if you want to just sound neutral.
TheSoftwareGuy 3y ago
Yeah, I think he’s close to a good point of advice there, but misses it. Instead, it is better to bring up unpleasant surprises when they become a possibility (call it a “risk” if you want to sound all businessy). If you do that, then people will be less surprised when you tell them that it has happened
Y_Y 3y ago
I've heard this referred to as "catroofing", though it's probably a very localized expression or I'm not remembering it correctly since I can't find any references online. In any case there's a good origin story: There’s an old joke about a guy who went away for a long trip and asked his brother to take care of his 16 year-old cat during his absence. A week or so into the trip, the guy calls home to check in. He knows his cat is elderly and he’s concerned about it. “How’s my cat?” he asks his brother. “Your cat’s dead,” his brother tells him. The guy is upset. “This is how you break it to me?” he asks. “This is how you give someone bad news? How insensitive can you be?” His brother is, of course, sorry, but can’t help asking: “What was I supposed to say? The truth is the truth.” “That may be,” the former cat-owning brother says, “but there’s a way to give someone bad news more thoughtfully. You should have psychologically prepared me for it. “When I called, you could have said, ‘your cat was crawling on the roof of the house when he fell, and I took him to the veterinarian. And then, next week when I called, you could have said, ‘your cat’s not doing so well’. And then the third week, you could have gently broken the news. That’s all it would have taken. Just a little bit of kindness.” “I’m really sorry,” the brother say. “I’ll do better next time.” “It’s OK,” says the other brother. “I’m just upset. I really loved that cat. Anyway, let’s change the subject. How’s our grandmother?” “Well,” the brother says, “she was crawling on the roof of the house …” Ref: https://www.thenationalnews.com/opinion/first-tell-me-about-the-cat-on-the-roof-1.303970 https://www.thenationalnews.com/opinion/first-tell-me-about-...
adrianmonk 3y ago
It could be that they're saying you should artificially hold back part of the news to ease the shock, which I don't agree with. But there are situations where a problem unfolds gradually, the sort of thing where you become more and more aware and certain that something is going wrong. For example, when a schedule slips. It's possible they're talking about that kind of situation. In that kind of situation, there's some threshold where it gets bad enough to let people know. But you could also give people a warning some time before that, i.e. have an additional threshold and an additional earlier communication. So maybe the advice is to go ahead and do that additional communication.
- BryantD 3y ago
  Strong agreement for that approach in the second case. I like a good yellow flag.

cal85 3y ago

How will this pattern become obvious (assuming you also comply with point 15)?

throwaway290 3y ago
It's not good if people start expecting a catastrophe as soon as you say "we may have a slight hiccup" People adjust and you would be forced to be more and more positive if you want to just sound neutral.

TheSoftwareGuy 3y ago

Yeah, I think he’s close to a good point of advice there, but misses it. Instead, it is better to bring up unpleasant surprises when they become a possibility (call it a “risk” if you want to sound all businessy). If you do that, then people will be less surprised when you tell them that it has happened

Y_Y 3y ago

I've heard this referred to as "catroofing", though it's probably a very localized expression or I'm not remembering it correctly since I can't find any references online. In any case there's a good origin story: There’s an old joke about a guy who went away for a long trip and asked his brother to take care of his 16 year-old cat during his absence. A week or so into the trip, the guy calls home to check in. He knows his cat is elderly and he’s concerned about it. “How’s my cat?” he asks his brother. “Your cat’s dead,” his brother tells him. The guy is upset. “This is how you break it to me?” he asks. “This is how you give someone bad news? How insensitive can you be?” His brother is, of course, sorry, but can’t help asking: “What was I supposed to say? The truth is the truth.” “That may be,” the former cat-owning brother says, “but there’s a way to give someone bad news more thoughtfully. You should have psychologically prepared me for it. “When I called, you could have said, ‘your cat was crawling on the roof of the house when he fell, and I took him to the veterinarian. And then, next week when I called, you could have said, ‘your cat’s not doing so well’. And then the third week, you could have gently broken the news. That’s all it would have taken. Just a little bit of kindness.” “I’m really sorry,” the brother say. “I’ll do better next time.” “It’s OK,” says the other brother. “I’m just upset. I really loved that cat. Anyway, let’s change the subject. How’s our grandmother?” “Well,” the brother says, “she was crawling on the roof of the house …” Ref: https://www.thenationalnews.com/opinion/first-tell-me-about-the-cat-on-the-roof-1.303970 https://www.thenationalnews.com/opinion/first-tell-me-about-...

adrianmonk 3y ago

It could be that they're saying you should artificially hold back part of the news to ease the shock, which I don't agree with. But there are situations where a problem unfolds gradually, the sort of thing where you become more and more aware and certain that something is going wrong. For example, when a schedule slips. It's possible they're talking about that kind of situation. In that kind of situation, there's some threshold where it gets bad enough to let people know. But you could also give people a warning some time before that, i.e. have an additional threshold and an additional earlier communication. So maybe the advice is to go ahead and do that additional communication.

BryantD 3y ago
Strong agreement for that approach in the second case. I like a good yellow flag.