It's not about the money, and it's not about "him." You feel bad about yourself. Part of you wants to be unhappy. This likely has a lot more to do with conflict

It's not about the money, and it's not about "him." You feel bad about yourself. Part of you wants to be unhappy. This likely has a lot more to do with conflicts from your childhood than some new philosophical puzzle presented by late capitalism. If you want to feel better, talk to someone.