7 ms·

I need to clarify: I feel 100% happy now. I've got to say, I still don't understand the obsession these days with "happiness". Who sits around reflecting on (

by kirse 14y ago

I need to clarify: I feel 100% happy now. I've got to say, I still don't understand the obsession these days with "happiness". Who sits around reflecting on (and measuring) their happiness, as if it's some numerical, achievable end-goal? Not only that, the most important thing in life is not what you can do, but who you daily choose to be - your character and integrity. Money and things will fade, but character never dies. Happiness is nice if it comes as a byproduct of life, but if happiness is really the pinnacle of that which we are striving for -- if it's really our greatest purpose in life -- we have a foundation softer than sand, constantly shifting with every direction the wind blows. Martin Luther King hints at his purpose in his "I Have Been to the Mountaintop" speech, noting that he's willing to sacrifice a long life for his purpose: Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land! It also surprises me that as someone who was a "devoted Christian for 25 years" who would at least have some Biblical knowledge, Ryan doesn't at least acknowledge the inherent spiritual incompleteness of placing his hope in worldly and material things - number six on his list being the exception. (Ecclesiastes, Ryan? Or Job 1:21? Or Phil 4:12?)

ebiester 14y ago
"I've got to say, I still don't understand the obsession these days with "happiness". Who sits around reflecting (and measuring) their happiness, as if it's some numerical, achievable end-goal?" American society has created a thought that if you're successful, wealthy, or influential, that is what brings happiness. Thus, some deprogramming (IE, it isn't your circumstances but rather your attitude your circumstances that makes you happy) is often necessary. And this happens within the church too, as much as it's preached against. (I say this as an Ex-Christian apostate with experiences in multiple churches.) And according to Shawn Achor's research (I'm listening to his audiobook now) happiness is correlated with higher performance. For that reason alone, it's worth looking for ways to raise our base happiness level. "It also surprises me that as a "devoted Christian for 25 years" who would at least have some Biblical knowledge, Ryan doesn't at least acknowledge the inherent spiritual incompleteness of placing his hope in worldly and material things. (Ecclesiastes, Ryan? Or Job 1:21? Or Phil 4:12?)" I read that as he's Ex-Christian, not currently Christian, so such advice would not be considered any more valid than the Tao Te Ching.
- 286c8cb04bda 14y ago
  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Even though I'm not a Christian, I'd certainly consider that valid advice. When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you. To this non-Taoist, that one seems pretty wise, also. I try to consider the message, and not the messenger.
- kirse 14y ago
  I read that as he's Ex-Christian, not currently Christian, so such advice would not be considered any more valid than the Tao Te Ching. Maybe, but one does not simply turn off 25 years of spiritual training and knowledge like a light switch. There is plenty of good practical wisdom contained in the Bible, especially in Proverbs + Ecclesiastes. My hunch is that while Ryan has an emotional issue with the concept of people being held accountable for our moral choices (i.e. justice being served at the end of life), mentioning Biblical scripture here wouldn't be like throwing "pearls before swine" -- he seems like an open and smart guy and probably still has some level of respect for the Bible.
ryancarson 14y ago
I'm in an Apple store, so I don't have a ton of time to compose this, but here goes: You can't make much of an impact on the world if you're not happy with your life. You'll spend most of your time trying to find happiness, instead of moving on to help other people be happy. Now that I don't believe in 'saving' people (in the Christian sense), there isn't a higher purpose for me other than helping others find contentment. Now that I've found contentment, I can start to focus on others. Note that me finding happiness or contentment isn't because I've bought things or have cash in the bank. It's the state of mind that my blog post talks about (and how I'm tempted to break out of it all the time).
- is74 14y ago
  I believe contentment goes the other way around. The easiest way to find contentment is to help others. It has been shown that volunteering is a very reliable long-term happiness boost, for example. It seems to me that most people want contentment and happiness in the same way most people want wealth, which is passively. I think that many of those who decide to be happier can take all proactive action to come closer to the state of mind they desire.
- kirse 14y ago
  You can't make much of an impact on the world if you're not happy with your life. This sort of self-centered attitude (i.e. "my own happiness must come before others") is the same line of reasoning that people use to say "you can't love others before you love yourself", but it's just not true. Happiness often comes when we consciously decide to take the focus off ourselves (and all the moaning and worrying we do about our "unhappiness") and place it squarely on the well-being and loving service of others. It's a daily choice to lose ourselves in something far greater than our ego and its want of fickle satisfaction. Now that I've found contentment, I can start to focus on others. I'm not going to judge your motives, but I would question if you've really found true contentment -- you're living an extremely favorable set of circumstances in life (a great wife, kids, a fantastic business) that make it easy to be happy -- and yet here you are, writing a blog post about how it's still not enough. The business has to be bigger (more barns to build!), you want more money than 99.9999% of the world to retire early, etc. You know your own heart though. I struggle with the same thing too on a monthly basis, the constant pull towards discontentment. I often find it's when I've stopped giving thanks daily and, consciously or otherwise, allowed myself to believe that "these material things matter and they are mine to have". With that said, I would say true contentment is really understanding Job 1:21 and the perspective that brings.
breathesalt 14y ago
Who sits around reflecting on (and measuring) their happiness, as if it's some numerical, achievable end-goal? Jeremy Bentham, that's who.
- borism 14y ago
  although I think he did that for society as a whole, not for individual members of it? i.e. for him you're either happy or unhappy?

by kirse 14y ago

ebiester 14y ago

"I've got to say, I still don't understand the obsession these days with "happiness". Who sits around reflecting (and measuring) their happiness, as if it's some numerical, achievable end-goal?" American society has created a thought that if you're successful, wealthy, or influential, that is what brings happiness. Thus, some deprogramming (IE, it isn't your circumstances but rather your attitude your circumstances that makes you happy) is often necessary. And this happens within the church too, as much as it's preached against. (I say this as an Ex-Christian apostate with experiences in multiple churches.) And according to Shawn Achor's research (I'm listening to his audiobook now) happiness is correlated with higher performance. For that reason alone, it's worth looking for ways to raise our base happiness level. "It also surprises me that as a "devoted Christian for 25 years" who would at least have some Biblical knowledge, Ryan doesn't at least acknowledge the inherent spiritual incompleteness of placing his hope in worldly and material things. (Ecclesiastes, Ryan? Or Job 1:21? Or Phil 4:12?)" I read that as he's Ex-Christian, not currently Christian, so such advice would not be considered any more valid than the Tao Te Ching.

286c8cb04bda 14y ago
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Even though I'm not a Christian, I'd certainly consider that valid advice. When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you. To this non-Taoist, that one seems pretty wise, also. I try to consider the message, and not the messenger.
kirse 14y ago
I read that as he's Ex-Christian, not currently Christian, so such advice would not be considered any more valid than the Tao Te Ching. Maybe, but one does not simply turn off 25 years of spiritual training and knowledge like a light switch. There is plenty of good practical wisdom contained in the Bible, especially in Proverbs + Ecclesiastes. My hunch is that while Ryan has an emotional issue with the concept of people being held accountable for our moral choices (i.e. justice being served at the end of life), mentioning Biblical scripture here wouldn't be like throwing "pearls before swine" -- he seems like an open and smart guy and probably still has some level of respect for the Bible.

ryancarson 14y ago

I'm in an Apple store, so I don't have a ton of time to compose this, but here goes: You can't make much of an impact on the world if you're not happy with your life. You'll spend most of your time trying to find happiness, instead of moving on to help other people be happy. Now that I don't believe in 'saving' people (in the Christian sense), there isn't a higher purpose for me other than helping others find contentment. Now that I've found contentment, I can start to focus on others. Note that me finding happiness or contentment isn't because I've bought things or have cash in the bank. It's the state of mind that my blog post talks about (and how I'm tempted to break out of it all the time).

is74 14y ago
I believe contentment goes the other way around. The easiest way to find contentment is to help others. It has been shown that volunteering is a very reliable long-term happiness boost, for example. It seems to me that most people want contentment and happiness in the same way most people want wealth, which is passively. I think that many of those who decide to be happier can take all proactive action to come closer to the state of mind they desire.
kirse 14y ago
You can't make much of an impact on the world if you're not happy with your life. This sort of self-centered attitude (i.e. "my own happiness must come before others") is the same line of reasoning that people use to say "you can't love others before you love yourself", but it's just not true. Happiness often comes when we consciously decide to take the focus off ourselves (and all the moaning and worrying we do about our "unhappiness") and place it squarely on the well-being and loving service of others. It's a daily choice to lose ourselves in something far greater than our ego and its want of fickle satisfaction. Now that I've found contentment, I can start to focus on others. I'm not going to judge your motives, but I would question if you've really found true contentment -- you're living an extremely favorable set of circumstances in life (a great wife, kids, a fantastic business) that make it easy to be happy -- and yet here you are, writing a blog post about how it's still not enough. The business has to be bigger (more barns to build!), you want more money than 99.9999% of the world to retire early, etc. You know your own heart though. I struggle with the same thing too on a monthly basis, the constant pull towards discontentment. I often find it's when I've stopped giving thanks daily and, consciously or otherwise, allowed myself to believe that "these material things matter and they are mine to have". With that said, I would say true contentment is really understanding Job 1:21 and the perspective that brings.

breathesalt 14y ago

Who sits around reflecting on (and measuring) their happiness, as if it's some numerical, achievable end-goal? Jeremy Bentham, that's who.

borism 14y ago
although I think he did that for society as a whole, not for individual members of it? i.e. for him you're either happy or unhappy?