5 ms·

Reminds me of this true story of 2 women: Esther1 was the born to a very poor family. Her parents were killed in an accident when she was 8 so she had to drop

by edw519 14y ago

Reminds me of this true story of 2 women: Esther1 was the born to a very poor family. Her parents were killed in an accident when she was 8 so she had to drop out of school and raise her 3 younger brothers. She worked hard and never had anything material for her entire life. She was an old lady when I was a child. Some of the things I clearly remember her saying: "I love every one of you." "I can't wait to see you again." "We had a wonderful time!" "Don't worry. It'll be fine." "If you look for trouble, you'll probably find it. So don't look so much." "I thank God every night of my life." Esther2 came from almost identical circumstances. She was even born and died the same week as Esther1. Some of the things I remember her saying: "Joe is so lucky. I could never get that lucky." "You can't beat city hall, so why bother." "Things would be different if we lived in a different neighborhood." "They all inherited a lot but we inherited nothing." "Life's not fair, sonny." "If only I had more money." Esther1 was my grandmother. Esther2 was her neighbor. Whenever I have OP's temptation to worry about my own happiness, I just look at the 4 letters on the wall above my desk, "WWGT" (What would Grandma think?) That "fixes" me every time.

Peroni 14y ago
Hindsight is an amazingly powerful thing and that's exactly why you should just listen to those with more experience than you, be that life experience, development experience, start-up experience, whatever. We may not have the gift of hindsight to apply to our current situation but they generally do. The reason people impart advice is because they feel that it's info they wish they had been given at the time. Listen to that advice objectively and learn from it.
brandall10 14y ago
My folks are both Esther2s, and consequently I was until about 30. Then I started getting into various self-help things, aligning myself with others of like mind, etc... basically just doing whatever it took to cultivate PMA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_mental_attitude http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_mental_attitude) and ridding my emotional lexicon of victim mentality. I can't remember what the name for it (or even if there is a name for it), but one of the best tricks I've learned is to self identify any negative thoughts as they stream in... when they come, just acknowledge they exist, don't beat yourself up over it; but take a step back, imagine yourself in the 3rd person seeing you get wound up over it, laugh it off and relax if you can. If you can't that's okay, it's just like attaining any positive habit or trying to quit any negative one. Persistence and time will make things come around, as long as you want it and continue deliberately practicing to achieve it. It was a process that took a couple years to sink in but surely will be ongoing until the day I die - the funny thing is, for years now, only my folks have been able to get a physical rise out of me (and perhaps rush hour traffic, haha). It's like some weird Pavlov's response. And of course there are times when a situation is just a little too tough, scary, or stressful, and I catch myself falling back on old patterns. In other words, when you find your comfort zones stretched, you also have to keep in mind that your mind will try to deceive you to keep you out of harm's way.
- pacaro 14y ago
  I'm reminded of this quote... "…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are." ― Pema Chödrön
halostatue 14y ago
My wife has been on a paid sabbatical this year (during which she's finalized and released two novels that I've been on tech duty for—and am still so this weekend to finalize the second book's ebooks for submission to the ebookstores). Teachers in Ontario have something available called a four-over-five where they get paid 80% of their gross salary over five years, but on the fifth year, they have a sabbatical. After the fifth year, they are guaranteed a position (with no loss in seniority) in the same school they were in at the beginning of the leave. In the year leading up to her leave, many of her colleagues said "you are so lucky." Her reaction was that it isn't luck, it's a choice. It's easier than people think it is (especially since Canadian teachers are generally paid well, and the fact that a 20% gross cut results in about a 14% net cut), but most people aren't interested in seeing what they can do. When life tosses me a curveball, I bitch about it a bit—and then I get working on solving the problem I need to solve.
Diederich 14y ago
I was raised by my father's parents, born in 1919 and 1921. They grew up in the great depression in the Midwest. As a 13 year old, in the dead of winter in Nebraska, my grandpa walked a six mile trap line with a rifle to collect food and pelts for the family. My grandpa was also here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merrills_Marauders http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merrills_Marauders and here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guadalcanal_Campaign http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guadalcanal_Campaign He was shot twice and fragged once, and was only able to leave the front line for once of those incidents. My grandmother had many of the same qualities, without the overtly "heroic" background. (I put that in quotes because he could not stand that word, and I agree with him.) My grandpa was the most humble man I know. Not overly kind though. Soft spoken, but always watchful. One thing he said more often than any other thing: "Today is a good day if you are breathing." Only after they died in 2000 and 2003 respectively did I really start taking the true meaning of that simple statement into my being. Fundamental and deep humility has been my guiding light ever since. I'm an opinionated tech guy like many of the people here. But I tell my co-workers that, on any given day, the best thing that can happen to me at work is to be proven wrong.
- mcguire 14y ago
  "He was shot twice and fragged once..." Um, fragged (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragging http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragging)?
  - Diederich 14y ago
    Ah, missed that reference. I meant http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragmentation_(weaponry) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragmentation_(weaponry)
    - mcguire 14y ago
      I was rather hoping that. Thanks.

by edw519 14y ago

Peroni 14y ago

Hindsight is an amazingly powerful thing and that's exactly why you should just listen to those with more experience than you, be that life experience, development experience, start-up experience, whatever. We may not have the gift of hindsight to apply to our current situation but they generally do. The reason people impart advice is because they feel that it's info they wish they had been given at the time. Listen to that advice objectively and learn from it.

brandall10 14y ago

My folks are both Esther2s, and consequently I was until about 30. Then I started getting into various self-help things, aligning myself with others of like mind, etc... basically just doing whatever it took to cultivate PMA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_mental_attitude http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_mental_attitude) and ridding my emotional lexicon of victim mentality. I can't remember what the name for it (or even if there is a name for it), but one of the best tricks I've learned is to self identify any negative thoughts as they stream in... when they come, just acknowledge they exist, don't beat yourself up over it; but take a step back, imagine yourself in the 3rd person seeing you get wound up over it, laugh it off and relax if you can. If you can't that's okay, it's just like attaining any positive habit or trying to quit any negative one. Persistence and time will make things come around, as long as you want it and continue deliberately practicing to achieve it. It was a process that took a couple years to sink in but surely will be ongoing until the day I die - the funny thing is, for years now, only my folks have been able to get a physical rise out of me (and perhaps rush hour traffic, haha). It's like some weird Pavlov's response. And of course there are times when a situation is just a little too tough, scary, or stressful, and I catch myself falling back on old patterns. In other words, when you find your comfort zones stretched, you also have to keep in mind that your mind will try to deceive you to keep you out of harm's way.

pacaro 14y ago
I'm reminded of this quote... "…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are." ― Pema Chödrön

halostatue 14y ago

My wife has been on a paid sabbatical this year (during which she's finalized and released two novels that I've been on tech duty for—and am still so this weekend to finalize the second book's ebooks for submission to the ebookstores). Teachers in Ontario have something available called a four-over-five where they get paid 80% of their gross salary over five years, but on the fifth year, they have a sabbatical. After the fifth year, they are guaranteed a position (with no loss in seniority) in the same school they were in at the beginning of the leave. In the year leading up to her leave, many of her colleagues said "you are so lucky." Her reaction was that it isn't luck, it's a choice. It's easier than people think it is (especially since Canadian teachers are generally paid well, and the fact that a 20% gross cut results in about a 14% net cut), but most people aren't interested in seeing what they can do. When life tosses me a curveball, I bitch about it a bit—and then I get working on solving the problem I need to solve.

Diederich 14y ago

I was raised by my father's parents, born in 1919 and 1921. They grew up in the great depression in the Midwest. As a 13 year old, in the dead of winter in Nebraska, my grandpa walked a six mile trap line with a rifle to collect food and pelts for the family. My grandpa was also here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merrills_Marauders http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merrills_Marauders and here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guadalcanal_Campaign http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guadalcanal_Campaign He was shot twice and fragged once, and was only able to leave the front line for once of those incidents. My grandmother had many of the same qualities, without the overtly "heroic" background. (I put that in quotes because he could not stand that word, and I agree with him.) My grandpa was the most humble man I know. Not overly kind though. Soft spoken, but always watchful. One thing he said more often than any other thing: "Today is a good day if you are breathing." Only after they died in 2000 and 2003 respectively did I really start taking the true meaning of that simple statement into my being. Fundamental and deep humility has been my guiding light ever since. I'm an opinionated tech guy like many of the people here. But I tell my co-workers that, on any given day, the best thing that can happen to me at work is to be proven wrong.

mcguire 14y ago
"He was shot twice and fragged once..." Um, fragged (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragging http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragging)?
- Diederich 14y ago
  Ah, missed that reference. I meant http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragmentation_(weaponry) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragmentation_(weaponry)
  - mcguire 14y ago
    I was rather hoping that. Thanks.