Man, I have this same problem. It's a real headache, but every now and then I have a feeling of clarity, like somehow everything is actually pretty OK as it is.

Man, I have this same problem. It's a real headache, but every now and then I have a feeling of clarity, like somehow everything is actually pretty OK as it is. I don't make lists though - usually it's something I'm told by somebody else, like one of my sisters or my mother. Somebody who knows me and my life well. That usually does the trick. But I can't independently convince myself of my own personal happiness at the drop of a hat when that demon of looking forward to the brighter future rears it's ugly head - I hope I can figure it out like you have!