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Don’t people have partners, kids, aging parents, hell even pets that depend on them? The authors version of being stuck seems like a luxury, an inward explorat

Don’t people have partners, kids, aging parents, hell even pets that depend on them? The authors version of being stuck seems like a luxury, an inward exploration to find out how you are holding yourself back. To even approach it from that angle you need to have no one depending on you. I can’t “shake things up” by trying a new career or taking impulsive vacations because other human beings rely on me being “stuck”.

benoitmalige 3y ago
You raise an excellent point, and it's true that everyone's circumstances are unique. In my case, my family is in another country, and my pursuit of the American dream led me to work so intensely that I overlooked the simple act of living. While I understand that not everyone has the flexibility to make drastic changes due to their responsibilities, I believe we all have our own paths to feeling unstuck. My writing is a personal tool to help me navigate my path and make sense of my experiences. Thank you for sharing your perspective—it's a vital reminder of the diverse lives we all lead.
newZWhoDis 3y ago
You massively underestimate the social atomization of the modern world.
Dessesaf 3y ago
I think you overestimate how strongly those ties bind people to their current situations. I don't know your situation, so don't take this the wrong way. Maybe your ties truly do bind you. And maybe that's perfectly fine. But I think for the vast majority of people, simply having a pet or a partner or a kid does not really tie them to their current situation. It's just about what you value more. Of course all of these ties change the tradeoffs of your choices. But every circumstance in life is a constraint on your choices. And large scale changes are possible even with all those things, should you desire it. There are plenty of people that take impulse vacations, change careers, countries, friends, partners, while having all of the dependents you list. And if you consider all those tradeoffs and decide change isn't worth it, that's perfectly fine. But I see people use this to state that they had no choice in the matter. No, you had a choice and you chose from a constrained but still massive set of potential life situations. This is simply the one you prefer. To bring this back to the article: Take this and keep asking the same question. You’ll get to the root of it soon enough. In this instance, your feeling of being stuck is less about the external circumstances and more about internal barriers—fears, beliefs, and assumptions that keep you tethered to the familiar, however unsatisfying it may be. If you keep asking the question, but your underlying answer is "It is actually more about the external circumstances than internal barriers", then that's your answer. You're not really stuck, you just made your choices and are where you wanted to be.

benoitmalige 3y ago

You raise an excellent point, and it's true that everyone's circumstances are unique. In my case, my family is in another country, and my pursuit of the American dream led me to work so intensely that I overlooked the simple act of living. While I understand that not everyone has the flexibility to make drastic changes due to their responsibilities, I believe we all have our own paths to feeling unstuck. My writing is a personal tool to help me navigate my path and make sense of my experiences. Thank you for sharing your perspective—it's a vital reminder of the diverse lives we all lead.

newZWhoDis 3y ago

You massively underestimate the social atomization of the modern world.

Dessesaf 3y ago

I think you overestimate how strongly those ties bind people to their current situations. I don't know your situation, so don't take this the wrong way. Maybe your ties truly do bind you. And maybe that's perfectly fine. But I think for the vast majority of people, simply having a pet or a partner or a kid does not really tie them to their current situation. It's just about what you value more. Of course all of these ties change the tradeoffs of your choices. But every circumstance in life is a constraint on your choices. And large scale changes are possible even with all those things, should you desire it. There are plenty of people that take impulse vacations, change careers, countries, friends, partners, while having all of the dependents you list. And if you consider all those tradeoffs and decide change isn't worth it, that's perfectly fine. But I see people use this to state that they had no choice in the matter. No, you had a choice and you chose from a constrained but still massive set of potential life situations. This is simply the one you prefer. To bring this back to the article: Take this and keep asking the same question. You’ll get to the root of it soon enough. In this instance, your feeling of being stuck is less about the external circumstances and more about internal barriers—fears, beliefs, and assumptions that keep you tethered to the familiar, however unsatisfying it may be. If you keep asking the question, but your underlying answer is "It is actually more about the external circumstances than internal barriers", then that's your answer. You're not really stuck, you just made your choices and are where you wanted to be.