I recently underwent a voluntary general psychological evaluation as I was trying to get a professional opinion on autism. I have been with an ADHD diagnosis fo

I recently underwent a voluntary general psychological evaluation as I was trying to get a professional opinion on autism. I have been with an ADHD diagnosis for about 10 years and medicated about half that time. A series of tests reaffirmed ADHD with quantitative data. For example I was asked to put on a set of headphones and press the space bar on a laptop when I heard certain tones, or was flashed particular letters. I performed terribly at these tasks, even as I was regarded otherwise as healthy and with above average intelligence. I medicated ADHD was for me about getting in car accidents a lot and general aimlessness. Productivity wasn’t a primary concern for me, but I exhausted myself to reach average levels of output. I’ve never ‘popped pills’ that weren’t prescribed to me, and always take mine with consistent timing. Reading these essays was infuriating and painful, to bear witness to a stigma I wasn’t really aware of. I don’t use adderall as a cheat code. I take it because it is what my doctors recommend and because I’m unsafe and unmoored without it.