I had this similar problem, but I hit it when I was somewhere in elementary school and the expectations of me were unreasonably high, making me sadder and sadde

I had this similar problem, but I hit it when I was somewhere in elementary school and the expectations of me were unreasonably high, making me sadder and sadder. My solution was simple at the time but has been a blessing: I want to be happy. My goal became "be happy", which is way easier than "be rich", "be a genius" or something along those lines, from my perspective. I'm very happy (and have been for many years), even though I'm average. My suggestion for you is just that: Change your perspective, aim for happiness and work toward that instead.