3 ms·

This retort is true of literally everything involved in raising kids. Substitute "parents" "preschool teachers" "sports coach" &c. for "grandparents" in the se

This retort is true of literally everything involved in raising kids. Substitute "parents" "preschool teachers" "sports coach" &c. for "grandparents" in the sentence and it's still true for the domain for the children. It's true that with grandparents you have a maximum of 4 to choose from, but you might not have more than 4 preschools to choose from either.

paulryanrogers 3y ago
Arguably you can chose other teachers and coaches and daycare
- BriggyDwiggs42 3y ago
  What about crappy parents?
  - paulryanrogers 3y ago
    Exactly. That's the distinction. While you can chose other people in most roles for your kids, you cannot pick their grandparents.
- aidenn0 3y ago
  You have up to 4 grandparents to choose from (in the case where all 4 are still living, but separated).
sublinear 3y ago
The best part about being a mature parent is that you have much more control over how you raise your kids. No way in hell did I ever trust teachers, grandparents, coaches, etc. over my actual parents. My parents were in their 30s when I was born. Their skepticism not only decoupled them from depending on people they didn't trust, but their perspective rubbed off on me and set me up for success. Older parents have no problem showing their kids the reality of the world early on. Individualism is not a bad thing at all if only you could convince all these people stuck in the past. This world will fall apart if we don't focus on higher quality parenting from the actual parents. Since long ago we've been saying we don't want "kids raising kids". My parents weren't the only ones thinking this way.
- rayiner 3y ago
  [flagged]
  - thaumasiotes 3y ago
    > It’s just something old white guys said in the 1960s without support, like Jungian archetypes and things like that. It is that, but it's not just that; the concept is attested farther back. https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ignatius_of_Loyola#Disputed https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ignatius_of_Loyola#Disputed > Give me the child for the first seven years and I will give you the man. If Voltaire invented it from whole cloth, that's still the 18th century. Though on your topic, Piaget is an amazing example of someone just inventing a completely ridiculous theory, doing experiments that fail to support it, and getting it enshrined as wisdom anyway.
    - aidenn0 3y ago
      Oh man Piaget. Responsible for bad information on kids for both Object permanence, and abstract reasoning. His views on egocentrism at least seem not as obviously wrong as those two; not sure what modern studies have to say.
  - visarga 3y ago
    Can confirm, have 3 kids. Parenting doesn't have much to do with how kids turn out. The genetic factor is more important. Not just genes of the two parents, but also how they recombine and surface various traits. Best thing to do is to let the kid discover who they want to be. Observe and support their explorations.
    - baq 3y ago
      Yeah, have 4 and 90% of my psychological strength is spent in making them not do bad things like punch their siblings in the face for looking the wrong way. I'm now resigned to the Sun Tzu principle: if you cannot lose, you'll win - just want to make sure I'm eliminating the obviously losing paths and they'll need to walk the successful paths themselves or I'll end up in an institution.

paulryanrogers 3y ago

Arguably you can chose other teachers and coaches and daycare

BriggyDwiggs42 3y ago
What about crappy parents?
- paulryanrogers 3y ago
  Exactly. That's the distinction. While you can chose other people in most roles for your kids, you cannot pick their grandparents.
aidenn0 3y ago
You have up to 4 grandparents to choose from (in the case where all 4 are still living, but separated).

sublinear 3y ago

The best part about being a mature parent is that you have much more control over how you raise your kids. No way in hell did I ever trust teachers, grandparents, coaches, etc. over my actual parents. My parents were in their 30s when I was born. Their skepticism not only decoupled them from depending on people they didn't trust, but their perspective rubbed off on me and set me up for success. Older parents have no problem showing their kids the reality of the world early on. Individualism is not a bad thing at all if only you could convince all these people stuck in the past. This world will fall apart if we don't focus on higher quality parenting from the actual parents. Since long ago we've been saying we don't want "kids raising kids". My parents weren't the only ones thinking this way.

rayiner 3y ago
[flagged]
- thaumasiotes 3y ago
  > It’s just something old white guys said in the 1960s without support, like Jungian archetypes and things like that. It is that, but it's not just that; the concept is attested farther back. https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ignatius_of_Loyola#Disputed https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ignatius_of_Loyola#Disputed > Give me the child for the first seven years and I will give you the man. If Voltaire invented it from whole cloth, that's still the 18th century. Though on your topic, Piaget is an amazing example of someone just inventing a completely ridiculous theory, doing experiments that fail to support it, and getting it enshrined as wisdom anyway.
  - aidenn0 3y ago
    Oh man Piaget. Responsible for bad information on kids for both Object permanence, and abstract reasoning. His views on egocentrism at least seem not as obviously wrong as those two; not sure what modern studies have to say.
- visarga 3y ago
  Can confirm, have 3 kids. Parenting doesn't have much to do with how kids turn out. The genetic factor is more important. Not just genes of the two parents, but also how they recombine and surface various traits. Best thing to do is to let the kid discover who they want to be. Observe and support their explorations.
  - baq 3y ago
    Yeah, have 4 and 90% of my psychological strength is spent in making them not do bad things like punch their siblings in the face for looking the wrong way. I'm now resigned to the Sun Tzu principle: if you cannot lose, you'll win - just want to make sure I'm eliminating the obviously losing paths and they'll need to walk the successful paths themselves or I'll end up in an institution.