People who haven't been through this often underestimate the severity of it... they often think that because they've pulled all-nighters for school or something

People who haven't been through this often underestimate the severity of it... they often think that because they've pulled all-nighters for school or something that they understand but weeks or months of chronic sleep deprivation is a totally different thing. It was living hell for me- my son wouldn't sleep during the night for more than 10-20m at a time, and my partner was having severe postpartum mental health issues (psychosis/rage/depression) so I was parenting solo, and up all night every night by myself with a crying baby. I eventually started hallucinating, and had a short temper and made very poor decisions. I couldn't get advice, help, or sympathy from anyone- usually something along the lines of "parenting is so easy for dads, why are you complaining?" Visiting family would expect me to serve meals to them, and not help either. I almost lost my job also because I couldn't focus or code anymore. Once I started sleeping in a separate room from my son, I could finally think/code/work again. Understanding in the workplace for a struggling new dad was non-existant: everyone assumed the mother was doing all of the work, and I would perform like normal. If anyone is reading this and can relate, don't do what I did- pay for help. Pay for a nanny- take out a loan if you have to. If you or your partner is struggling, get them professional mental health support. Prioritize your sleep, bodily, and mental health needs: you need to "put the mask on yourself first" or you can't help anyone else. Don't be afraid to set a crying baby in a safe crib and go sleep for a while if you need it.