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I grew up very poor in the USA (in a housing project). I ended up becoming successful/wealthy by most people's yardstick, but it took a long time for me to grow

I grew up very poor in the USA (in a housing project). I ended up becoming successful/wealthy by most people's yardstick, but it took a long time for me to grow out of the poor mindset. For the longest time I never bought anything for myself. I had half a million in income and wouldn't even buy a snack or anything because it felt "wrong" the same way I couldn't justify it when I was a kid. Before I was married I didn't even own a bed (I coded on a lawn chair in my apartment and used a cardboard box for my table. I didn't own a TV, car, etc. Even though I build things for my livelihood, I couldn't justify buying a new machine, etc. I started to come out of that mindset after getting married. I enjoyed buying things for others (my spouse, then my kids). My spouse then urged (forced) me to buy things for myself. Come to think of it, maybe I never grew out of that mindset. If I wasn't married I would still be living that way. The only reason I'm not is because my wife urges (forces) me not to. Err, get married?

Der_Einzige 3y ago
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- deleted 3y ago
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- bruce343434 3y ago
  This comment struck me as unnecessarily divisive/polarizing. Who are these hateful women?
  - sublinear 3y ago
    > Who are these hateful women? Women who grew up poor :)
  - zero_k 3y ago
    Yeah, it's a bulls**t comment. Fools are dime a dozen :(
  - pierat 3y ago
    Click on the "X minutes ago" next to that Der_Einzige's post. On that page, click "flag". This commentary is just standard incel screed, and not worth a response... other than telling people how to flag.
  - Der_Einzige 3y ago
    Sorry if it was "polarizing", but I'm referencing a (pretty old) meme: https://ifunny.co/picture/women-hate-how-little-it-takes-for-us-to-be-rLNzSHO08 https://ifunny.co/picture/women-hate-how-little-it-takes-for... Glad it struck a chord though!
- stephenhuey 3y ago
  With a quick search online it looks like you got it backwards. I'm not Catholic, so don't understand the intricacies of every single position, but it looks like there are about 10 times as many "sisters" compared to the number of men serving in the various religious orders.
  - Der_Einzige 3y ago
    I should have been clear, I mean "monks" vs "female" monks of all religions. When I imagine a "monk", I imagine an orange clad Buddhist or Hindu person. Still happy to also be proven wrong there too. Always cool to learn new things.
zero_k 3y ago
I get you. It took me a looong time to come to terms with the fact that I can buy myself some nice things, even though I was already gifting nice things to others. I still only rarely buy nice stuff for myself, but I am learning. I bought myself a high-end computer (5950x & RTX 3070) 3 years ago, and I realized how important it is to spend -- it's sometimes cheaper than buying it later (it was the beginning of the silicon crisis), and you get to enjoy it a lot. I still pay a lot of attention to what I buy and for what purpose, but I am less crazy about not spending it. It takes actual time to learn to spend, and you gotta be patient with yourself.
bluedino 3y ago
>> but it took a long time for me to grow out of the poor mindset. >> For the longest time I never bought anything for myself. For many, the "poor mindset" is to spend every dime you get, often to buy frivolous things
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rednerrus 3y ago
Getting married is a really good way to get new culture in your life. Getting married really helped me move out of the povery mindset I grew up with.
neilv 3y ago
> Before I was married I didn't even own a bed. [...] My spouse then urged (forced) me to buy things for myself. I worked for years while sleeping on the floor (on a bedsheet, over carpet), even once I could arguably afford a bed. It took a girlfriend to convince me that I should finally, urgently buy a bed (well, an unfinished pine futon frame, from a warehouse outlet). Maybe the current pause in VC-powered-growth startups means founders&engineers with latent frugality skills will really shine? :)

Der_Einzige 3y ago

[flagged]

deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
bruce343434 3y ago
This comment struck me as unnecessarily divisive/polarizing. Who are these hateful women?
- sublinear 3y ago
  > Who are these hateful women? Women who grew up poor :)
- zero_k 3y ago
  Yeah, it's a bulls**t comment. Fools are dime a dozen :(
- pierat 3y ago
  Click on the "X minutes ago" next to that Der_Einzige's post. On that page, click "flag". This commentary is just standard incel screed, and not worth a response... other than telling people how to flag.
- Der_Einzige 3y ago
  Sorry if it was "polarizing", but I'm referencing a (pretty old) meme: https://ifunny.co/picture/women-hate-how-little-it-takes-for-us-to-be-rLNzSHO08 https://ifunny.co/picture/women-hate-how-little-it-takes-for... Glad it struck a chord though!
stephenhuey 3y ago
With a quick search online it looks like you got it backwards. I'm not Catholic, so don't understand the intricacies of every single position, but it looks like there are about 10 times as many "sisters" compared to the number of men serving in the various religious orders.
- Der_Einzige 3y ago
  I should have been clear, I mean "monks" vs "female" monks of all religions. When I imagine a "monk", I imagine an orange clad Buddhist or Hindu person. Still happy to also be proven wrong there too. Always cool to learn new things.

zero_k 3y ago

I get you. It took me a looong time to come to terms with the fact that I can buy myself some nice things, even though I was already gifting nice things to others. I still only rarely buy nice stuff for myself, but I am learning. I bought myself a high-end computer (5950x & RTX 3070) 3 years ago, and I realized how important it is to spend -- it's sometimes cheaper than buying it later (it was the beginning of the silicon crisis), and you get to enjoy it a lot. I still pay a lot of attention to what I buy and for what purpose, but I am less crazy about not spending it. It takes actual time to learn to spend, and you gotta be patient with yourself.

bluedino 3y ago

>> but it took a long time for me to grow out of the poor mindset. >> For the longest time I never bought anything for myself. For many, the "poor mindset" is to spend every dime you get, often to buy frivolous things

deleted 3y ago
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rednerrus 3y ago

Getting married is a really good way to get new culture in your life. Getting married really helped me move out of the povery mindset I grew up with.

neilv 3y ago

> Before I was married I didn't even own a bed. [...] My spouse then urged (forced) me to buy things for myself. I worked for years while sleeping on the floor (on a bedsheet, over carpet), even once I could arguably afford a bed. It took a girlfriend to convince me that I should finally, urgently buy a bed (well, an unfinished pine futon frame, from a warehouse outlet). Maybe the current pause in VC-powered-growth startups means founders&engineers with latent frugality skills will really shine? :)