3 ms·

First and foremost, it's probably because the advice was accurate 20 years ago, but advice doesn't go away just because it stops being true. Secondly, if meeti

First and foremost, it's probably because the advice was accurate 20 years ago, but advice doesn't go away just because it stops being true. Secondly, if meeting online continually fails to work for you specifically, it's possible that it will continue to not work for you, and so looking into other options is probably a good idea. I like to think that people who say this are really trying to adjust your behavior to make you a better candidate. Following that advice will make you come across as less desperate, it'll make you more interesting, it'll make you more practiced socializing, and if all else fails, it'll probably leave you more a more well single person than you otherwise would've been.

red-iron-pine 3y ago
> but advice doesn't go away just because it stops being true. yeah it kinda does. context is everything and 20 years ago is a wayyyy different time. MeToo and brutal gender politics have changed the landscape, and most of the younger folks I work or interact with -- discord, man -- have implied that they're struggling with meeting people, struggling with fear (of being accused of something, or fear of men accosting them), often short on cash, and living with their parents -- which makes bringing somebody home difficult. in-person is always an option, but I get why people may not feel that way.
- CobrastanJorji 3y ago
  Sure, but people keep giving the same advice based on their lived experience. They have no way to receive signals that the ground truth has changed. Go ask a baby boomer what to do if you need a job, and there's a good chance they'll tell you to march into any local business, ask for a job, offer a firm handshake, "be willing to work hard and work your way up from the ground floor." Is that good advice? Not really, no, but it probably WAS good advice in 1965.

red-iron-pine 3y ago

> but advice doesn't go away just because it stops being true. yeah it kinda does. context is everything and 20 years ago is a wayyyy different time. MeToo and brutal gender politics have changed the landscape, and most of the younger folks I work or interact with -- discord, man -- have implied that they're struggling with meeting people, struggling with fear (of being accused of something, or fear of men accosting them), often short on cash, and living with their parents -- which makes bringing somebody home difficult. in-person is always an option, but I get why people may not feel that way.

CobrastanJorji 3y ago
Sure, but people keep giving the same advice based on their lived experience. They have no way to receive signals that the ground truth has changed. Go ask a baby boomer what to do if you need a job, and there's a good chance they'll tell you to march into any local business, ask for a job, offer a firm handshake, "be willing to work hard and work your way up from the ground floor." Is that good advice? Not really, no, but it probably WAS good advice in 1965.