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> over-whelmed by choice I'm not sure it's really that, because we can't hold more than 7 plus or minus 2 alternatives in mind at any time [0]. It's more rela

> over-whelmed by choice I'm not sure it's really that, because we can't hold more than 7 plus or minus 2 alternatives in mind at any time [0]. It's more related to FOMO, or a gnawing feeling that whatever we choose is sub-optimal, because we could have made a better choice. The apparent magnitude of possible choices kinda just confirms that. You see people on Tinder dates sitting at a restaurant table each still scrolling in case something "better" turns up. The way out of that it to accept this moment is unconditionally perfect and relinquish control. That's not a common skill nowadays. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Magical_Number_Seven,_Plus_or_Minus_Two https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Magical_Number_Seven,_Plus...

YugyDugan 3y ago
>You see people on Tinder dates sitting at a restaurant table each still scrolling Do you actually? That's appalling. Some time ago I was on a second date with someone (met through a friend, not Tinder) whose phone was frequently pinging the Tinder notification sound. She was very pretty, I was under no illusions about the level of competition, but I was so insulted by the disrespect. Imagine not even putting your phone on silent! Had no idea it could've been worse, god help me if she got it out and started swiping.
teekert 3y ago
This describes me at FOSDEM: too many parellel tracks, a headache coming up from keeping attention to talks and schedule, running around feeling FOMO wherever I go. But then I let go, had a coffee, had some beers with peers. No more headache + increased happiness. Life lesson learned.
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
- ghaff 3y ago
  Breakouts at a conference mostly don't matter unless it's something you're especially interested in or know the speaker. At FOSDEM they're recorded anyway--not that you'll get around to watching the recordings.
- wlonkly 3y ago
  Speaking of conferences, this is one thing I loved about the Monitorama conference in Portland. It has a single track, so everyone attending the conference goes to all the same talks, which means you now have something in common with everybody in the hallway track and post-conference events to talk about. ("Loved" because I haven't been in years -- the conference is, AFAIK, still going strong.)
boesboes 3y ago
This kind of comment always blows my mind. How can you come in and say 'well, actually, i think what you say you experience is not true. And disregard all the literature on the subject too!'
- nonrandomstring 3y ago
  > This kind of comment always blows my mind. In a good way or a bad way? > How can you come in and say 'well, actually... It's a mixture of qualities; education, scepticism, and original thinking are the key ones. Some cultures discourage this sort of thinking and promote an unquestioning attitude that takes whatever is presented on face value. For me as a scientist my own upbringing placed a lot of value on the opposite life-stance. > i think what you say you experience is not true. That is an unfair characterisation of what I said. Truth or falsehood hardly applies to experience. I am suggesting there's an alternative way of looking at what people report than "overwhelming" choice. That may apply to you. It may not. Make your own path. I think maybe you took what was intended as a general observation about this phenomenon as a rebuke of your personal experience. > disregard all the literature on the subject too! One TED talk and a book (albeit a good one) does not really count as "all the literature". I wish I could understand you better. Does encountering other points of view feel "offensive" because you disagree? Does it feel like invalidates something you believe in, in a "personal" way (like an attack)? Or do you really feel uncomfortable with sceptical thinking?

YugyDugan 3y ago

>You see people on Tinder dates sitting at a restaurant table each still scrolling Do you actually? That's appalling. Some time ago I was on a second date with someone (met through a friend, not Tinder) whose phone was frequently pinging the Tinder notification sound. She was very pretty, I was under no illusions about the level of competition, but I was so insulted by the disrespect. Imagine not even putting your phone on silent! Had no idea it could've been worse, god help me if she got it out and started swiping.

teekert 3y ago

This describes me at FOSDEM: too many parellel tracks, a headache coming up from keeping attention to talks and schedule, running around feeling FOMO wherever I go. But then I let go, had a coffee, had some beers with peers. No more headache + increased happiness. Life lesson learned.

deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
ghaff 3y ago
Breakouts at a conference mostly don't matter unless it's something you're especially interested in or know the speaker. At FOSDEM they're recorded anyway--not that you'll get around to watching the recordings.
wlonkly 3y ago
Speaking of conferences, this is one thing I loved about the Monitorama conference in Portland. It has a single track, so everyone attending the conference goes to all the same talks, which means you now have something in common with everybody in the hallway track and post-conference events to talk about. ("Loved" because I haven't been in years -- the conference is, AFAIK, still going strong.)

boesboes 3y ago

This kind of comment always blows my mind. How can you come in and say 'well, actually, i think what you say you experience is not true. And disregard all the literature on the subject too!'

nonrandomstring 3y ago
> This kind of comment always blows my mind. In a good way or a bad way? > How can you come in and say 'well, actually... It's a mixture of qualities; education, scepticism, and original thinking are the key ones. Some cultures discourage this sort of thinking and promote an unquestioning attitude that takes whatever is presented on face value. For me as a scientist my own upbringing placed a lot of value on the opposite life-stance. > i think what you say you experience is not true. That is an unfair characterisation of what I said. Truth or falsehood hardly applies to experience. I am suggesting there's an alternative way of looking at what people report than "overwhelming" choice. That may apply to you. It may not. Make your own path. I think maybe you took what was intended as a general observation about this phenomenon as a rebuke of your personal experience. > disregard all the literature on the subject too! One TED talk and a book (albeit a good one) does not really count as "all the literature". I wish I could understand you better. Does encountering other points of view feel "offensive" because you disagree? Does it feel like invalidates something you believe in, in a "personal" way (like an attack)? Or do you really feel uncomfortable with sceptical thinking?