3 ms·

> the point of his statement was specifically to call out the women in that region as being so undesirable that eligible men should move rather than date them.

> the point of his statement was specifically to call out the women in that region as being so undesirable that eligible men should move rather than date them. That's not what I got from it at all. What I got from it is: there is a gender imbalance in the Bay area. This gender imbalance favors women. That has an impact on women's behavior - presumably allowing women to be pickier. This makes the experience frustrating for men, hence the recommendation to go elsewhere. Note, it's not the women who are the undesirable ones in this interpretation...

root_axis 3y ago
I wrote a similar reply to a sibling comment, but to me the tone suggests "undesirable" because the advice is "don't even try to date, go anywhere else in the world", he even bolsters it by saying "I'm not kidding" because he knows its a bit extreme to uproot your life to increase dating odds. If he had said something along the lines of "expect to face some rejections before success, that's just the reality of dating, especially for a man in the bay area, here are some tips to make yourself more competitive in the dating market", that would strike me as a reflection on picky women.
- friend_and_foe 3y ago
  I don't disagree with everything you said, but I don't think its extreme to uproot yourself in search for a partner. Choice in a life partner is going to be one of the most consequential decisions you'll ever make. If you've got to go to the end of the earth to find your soul mate, will you do it? Extreme, hyperbolic example but it shows my point. All the things you need for a successful pairing and family, similar culture, similar socioeconomic details, similar values, similar philosophies, similar life goals... Going somewhere where the potential partners are more like you (while of course simultaneously making sure you meet their criteria as well) is not that extreme when you consider that you will ideally spend the rest of your life with them and raise your children with them.

root_axis 3y ago

I wrote a similar reply to a sibling comment, but to me the tone suggests "undesirable" because the advice is "don't even try to date, go anywhere else in the world", he even bolsters it by saying "I'm not kidding" because he knows its a bit extreme to uproot your life to increase dating odds. If he had said something along the lines of "expect to face some rejections before success, that's just the reality of dating, especially for a man in the bay area, here are some tips to make yourself more competitive in the dating market", that would strike me as a reflection on picky women.

friend_and_foe 3y ago
I don't disagree with everything you said, but I don't think its extreme to uproot yourself in search for a partner. Choice in a life partner is going to be one of the most consequential decisions you'll ever make. If you've got to go to the end of the earth to find your soul mate, will you do it? Extreme, hyperbolic example but it shows my point. All the things you need for a successful pairing and family, similar culture, similar socioeconomic details, similar values, similar philosophies, similar life goals... Going somewhere where the potential partners are more like you (while of course simultaneously making sure you meet their criteria as well) is not that extreme when you consider that you will ideally spend the rest of your life with them and raise your children with them.