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The post: > If you want a girlfriend, get out of the Bay Area. Almost everywhere else on the planet is better for that. I’m not kidding at all. You’ll be shock

The post: > If you want a girlfriend, get out of the Bay Area. Almost everywhere else on the planet is better for that. I’m not kidding at all. You’ll be shocked by the stark differences in behavior of women in places where women are plentiful versus their behavior within artillery distance of San Jose and San Francisco I take issue with that last sentence which is vague enough to be a dog whistle of sorts and implies it is women who are somehow at fault and who need to change their behavior. I learned awhile ago that nuanced perspectives surrounding women are pretty lacking in this site, however. I expect this post to be flagged or downweighted within an hour.

standardUser 3y ago
I don't think it is vague at all. He's commenting on the dating behavior of his female students in a clearly negative light.
- ShamelessC 3y ago
  He doesn’t mention what the behavior is at all. I agree that it is clearly negative of course.
- dotcoma 3y ago
  I don’t think he is talking about his female students.
  - standardUser 3y ago
    He said "If you want a girlfriend, get out of the Bay Area" to female students who live in the Bay Area.
gotoeleven 3y ago
>>You’ll be shocked by the stark differences in behavior of women in places where women are plentiful versus their behavior within artillery distance of San Jose and San Francisco This is a positive statement which means that it is stating something that the author thinks is true, not something they think ought to be true. If you don't think it is true then offer a rebuttal. But people like you reading this sentence and then doing a round of mind reading and then responding to the fiction in your head is the reason we can't have debates anymore.
- ShamelessC 3y ago
  I believe we’re having a debate currently. I disagree with his implied vague premise that women are being too difficult with regards to dating in that area. More likely, women in the area have to put up with assholes like him more often and so have a reasonable level of guardedness. Honestly both statements are generalizations and I’m not going to speak on behalf of all women there because I’m not a woman and I don’t live there. And for what it’s worth, when someone is vague in this fashion, some amount of inference is required.
Kamq 3y ago
> > You’ll be shocked by the stark differences in behavior of women in places where women are plentiful versus their behavior within artillery distance of San Jose and San Francisco > I take issue with that last sentence which is vague enough to be a dog whistle of sorts and implies it is women who are somehow at fault and who need to change their behavior. We read this very differently. I read it as basically a reminder that people don't put in effort if they don't have to and that people respond to incentives. To take an example, how many devs were pretty lazy at work before the market tightened up vs right now? A change in scarcity can sometimes lead to some pretty big changes in behavior. I also didn't read it as women need to change their behavior, as it was the student that the professor was explicitly telling to change (specifically their choice of location). If you want it to generalize it, it could be taken as advising men to change their behavior (and move out of SF en masse). But it read to me that the professor in question thinks that women have a stronger position in the dating market than men in SF right now. If that's true (I have no personal knowledge about this), it seems unlikely that women would want to change that. I'm actually struggling to see how this could be a call for women to change their behavior. Would you mind elaborating on how you read this? It could be that I'm missing some subtext.

standardUser 3y ago

I don't think it is vague at all. He's commenting on the dating behavior of his female students in a clearly negative light.

ShamelessC 3y ago
He doesn’t mention what the behavior is at all. I agree that it is clearly negative of course.
dotcoma 3y ago
I don’t think he is talking about his female students.
- standardUser 3y ago
  He said "If you want a girlfriend, get out of the Bay Area" to female students who live in the Bay Area.

gotoeleven 3y ago

>>You’ll be shocked by the stark differences in behavior of women in places where women are plentiful versus their behavior within artillery distance of San Jose and San Francisco This is a positive statement which means that it is stating something that the author thinks is true, not something they think ought to be true. If you don't think it is true then offer a rebuttal. But people like you reading this sentence and then doing a round of mind reading and then responding to the fiction in your head is the reason we can't have debates anymore.

ShamelessC 3y ago
I believe we’re having a debate currently. I disagree with his implied vague premise that women are being too difficult with regards to dating in that area. More likely, women in the area have to put up with assholes like him more often and so have a reasonable level of guardedness. Honestly both statements are generalizations and I’m not going to speak on behalf of all women there because I’m not a woman and I don’t live there. And for what it’s worth, when someone is vague in this fashion, some amount of inference is required.

Kamq 3y ago

> > You’ll be shocked by the stark differences in behavior of women in places where women are plentiful versus their behavior within artillery distance of San Jose and San Francisco > I take issue with that last sentence which is vague enough to be a dog whistle of sorts and implies it is women who are somehow at fault and who need to change their behavior. We read this very differently. I read it as basically a reminder that people don't put in effort if they don't have to and that people respond to incentives. To take an example, how many devs were pretty lazy at work before the market tightened up vs right now? A change in scarcity can sometimes lead to some pretty big changes in behavior. I also didn't read it as women need to change their behavior, as it was the student that the professor was explicitly telling to change (specifically their choice of location). If you want it to generalize it, it could be taken as advising men to change their behavior (and move out of SF en masse). But it read to me that the professor in question thinks that women have a stronger position in the dating market than men in SF right now. If that's true (I have no personal knowledge about this), it seems unlikely that women would want to change that. I'm actually struggling to see how this could be a call for women to change their behavior. Would you mind elaborating on how you read this? It could be that I'm missing some subtext.