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It's funny to have to say this in a thread about explicit feedback and psychological safety, but: Nobody here was suggesting that your question was foolish or
by swatcoder 3y ago
It's funny to have to say this in a thread about explicit feedback and psychological safety, but:
Nobody here was suggesting that your question was foolish or that it was not asked in earnest surprise. Clearly, this is something that surprises you and that's fine. Good on you for asking questions to better understand!
Encountering something that is "counter to all human nature I have observed" is a good clue that you've been carrying a big a blindspot of your own. There are many traditional cultures and modern communities that are quite forward about feedback and criticism in a pervasive way. Often, in these groups, continued authority is earned exactly through one's handling of open criticism from their subordinates.
Do you process it in stride and contextualize it? Acknowledge the person for sharing it? Hold strong in your own self-assurance? Fold it into your future decisions? Or do you defensively fly off the handle and repress those who you see as threatening you?
I'm sorry if you're only familiar with that last strategy, but it's not nearly universal. In this case, the water really does flow uphill in a lot of places.
- lazyasciiart 3y agoThis is an extraordinarily condescending comment, with a lot of weakly justified assumptions about the other commenter.
- xyzelement 3y agoI am not the person you're replying to but I reached the same conclusion that they have. When someone claims as impossible that which you have experienced (and in fact, experienced consistently across decades) - at some point you have to conclude that they simply lack the experience that would make this as obvious to them. It's not a bad thing but it's just kinda real. It's like the opposite of survivorship bias. Because you have only seen things go badly, you conclude the good is impossible, something like that.
- bumby 3y agoI did not read the original comment as "claims as impossible" but rather "not very generalizable". One of the important things about receiving feedback IMO is to steelman the feedback as much as possible.
- lazyasciiart 3y agoHow odd that both of you made the same unsupported assumption that someone calling something surprising is actually saying it is impossible.