It seems that you really want this to be about exercise. It isn't. Don't get me wrong: every minute doomscrolling on your couch will certainly take years from

It seems that you really want this to be about exercise. It isn't. Don't get me wrong: every minute doomscrolling on your couch will certainly take years from your life; somebody would have done the science but they died already. But, yet again, this is entirely tangential to the article.