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> Being intentional about this idea can help you decide who yiy want your future self to be, and help you get there. To what end? Oftentimes, that tale goes li

> Being intentional about this idea can help you decide who yiy want your future self to be, and help you get there. To what end? Oftentimes, that tale goes like: "If I do this, I can get more money." Or: "If I do that, I can get a better partner." Once you get what you wanted, it's no longer what you actually want. One solution has caused ten more problems and you never feel any better really, other than for very short fleeting moments.

Sakos 3y ago
You know, you choose to be this bitter and critical. That's a choice. I decided I wanted to be less angry at the people around me, to be somebody who didn't respond with anger unnecessarily. I wanted to be somebody better able to handle criticism. I wanted to be more emotionally/psychologically stable, and be less co-dependent in my relationships. I wanted to get over my social anxiety and become more comfortable around other people. I wanted to finally start a career in software development for money and stability. These are all things I've achieved to a large degree, and it's made a huge difference in my quality of life. Yes, I have other goals now, but does that negate the value in achieving my previous goals? No. Achieving my previous goals means that I'm in a better place now to achieve other goals that can further improve my life.
- starbugs 3y ago
  > You know, you choose to be this bitter and critical. That's a choice. Respectfully, I think that's your interpretation rather than reality. What I said is far from bitter or critical. Quite the opposite. Maybe it's your own bitterness that's coming through in what you read in my comment? What you describe in your habitual changes are not ends - those are means. And you always change them now by letting go of some self concept. It's quite the opposite of imagining yourself being so and so in the future and then everything "will be fine". But I asked "To what end?" and talked about something completely different than you are, obviously? Please re-read what I wrote.
  - lupyro 3y ago
    Nah based off this comment and your previous one, you're choosing to be bitter and critical. It's not the content of your argument but how you're saying it.
    - starbugs 3y ago
      > It's not the content of your argument but how you're saying it. Sounds quite bitter to me.
  - s1artibartfast 3y ago
    For what it is worth, as an outside observer, I think your position comes of as nihilistic or stoic. It seemed to suggest or question the point of improvement, betterment, or desires entirely. >to what end? Oftentimes, that tale goes like: "If I do this, I can get more money." Or: "If I do that, I can get a better partner." Once you get what you wanted, it's no longer what you actually want. One solution has caused ten more problems and you never feel any better really, other than for very short fleeting moments.
    - starbugs 3y ago
      > It seemed to suggest or question the point of improvement, betterment, or desires entirely. That says a lot about why I made that comment to begin with. It’s this way of jumping to conclusions and feeling attacked that seems to be quite deeply conditioned in many of us. Hence, I admit my comment was kind of provocative. To clarify: By no means did I want to indicate that betterment and improvement aren’t worthwhile endeavors generally speaking. My point is rather that they should be embedded in something greater. Otherwise, they might yield counterintuitive results which can, in extreme cases, become dangerous. To support my point: Look at what’s currently considered “successful” in our contemporary society. Then look at its detrimental effects which become more and more pronounced in many areas. A bit more balance would be desirable at times. A lot of this stems from the deeply entrenched believe in a false conceptual self. At least that’s what I am convinced of. That’s why I made that comment in the context of this article.
Zambyte 3y ago
That's why it's important to ground your vision of your future self in your values. I personally write a lot to myself (zettelkasten style), and I have two macros for notes that I regularly take: "what do I value?" and "what is my trajectory?" I hope in making these explicit I can have an easier time aligning them. Anyone who has read Atomic Habits will surely find this exercise familiar. It's basically what the whole book is about (plus a mental framework to try to control your trajectory that the title eludes to).
- starbugs 3y ago
  > I have two macros for notes that I regularly take: "what do I value?" and "what is my trajectory?" I hope in making these explicit I can have an easier time aligning them. Does it work?
  - Zambyte 3y ago
    I think it works in the sense that I have a greater feeling of clarity in what I want from my life. I've been doing it less than a year though, and I feel like great change accumulates over many years, so it's hard to say if my actions are really that different than if I hadn't been doing this.

Sakos 3y ago

You know, you choose to be this bitter and critical. That's a choice. I decided I wanted to be less angry at the people around me, to be somebody who didn't respond with anger unnecessarily. I wanted to be somebody better able to handle criticism. I wanted to be more emotionally/psychologically stable, and be less co-dependent in my relationships. I wanted to get over my social anxiety and become more comfortable around other people. I wanted to finally start a career in software development for money and stability. These are all things I've achieved to a large degree, and it's made a huge difference in my quality of life. Yes, I have other goals now, but does that negate the value in achieving my previous goals? No. Achieving my previous goals means that I'm in a better place now to achieve other goals that can further improve my life.

starbugs 3y ago
> You know, you choose to be this bitter and critical. That's a choice. Respectfully, I think that's your interpretation rather than reality. What I said is far from bitter or critical. Quite the opposite. Maybe it's your own bitterness that's coming through in what you read in my comment? What you describe in your habitual changes are not ends - those are means. And you always change them now by letting go of some self concept. It's quite the opposite of imagining yourself being so and so in the future and then everything "will be fine". But I asked "To what end?" and talked about something completely different than you are, obviously? Please re-read what I wrote.
- lupyro 3y ago
  Nah based off this comment and your previous one, you're choosing to be bitter and critical. It's not the content of your argument but how you're saying it.
  - starbugs 3y ago
    > It's not the content of your argument but how you're saying it. Sounds quite bitter to me.
- s1artibartfast 3y ago
  For what it is worth, as an outside observer, I think your position comes of as nihilistic or stoic. It seemed to suggest or question the point of improvement, betterment, or desires entirely. >to what end? Oftentimes, that tale goes like: "If I do this, I can get more money." Or: "If I do that, I can get a better partner." Once you get what you wanted, it's no longer what you actually want. One solution has caused ten more problems and you never feel any better really, other than for very short fleeting moments.
  - starbugs 3y ago
    > It seemed to suggest or question the point of improvement, betterment, or desires entirely. That says a lot about why I made that comment to begin with. It’s this way of jumping to conclusions and feeling attacked that seems to be quite deeply conditioned in many of us. Hence, I admit my comment was kind of provocative. To clarify: By no means did I want to indicate that betterment and improvement aren’t worthwhile endeavors generally speaking. My point is rather that they should be embedded in something greater. Otherwise, they might yield counterintuitive results which can, in extreme cases, become dangerous. To support my point: Look at what’s currently considered “successful” in our contemporary society. Then look at its detrimental effects which become more and more pronounced in many areas. A bit more balance would be desirable at times. A lot of this stems from the deeply entrenched believe in a false conceptual self. At least that’s what I am convinced of. That’s why I made that comment in the context of this article.

Zambyte 3y ago

That's why it's important to ground your vision of your future self in your values. I personally write a lot to myself (zettelkasten style), and I have two macros for notes that I regularly take: "what do I value?" and "what is my trajectory?" I hope in making these explicit I can have an easier time aligning them. Anyone who has read Atomic Habits will surely find this exercise familiar. It's basically what the whole book is about (plus a mental framework to try to control your trajectory that the title eludes to).

starbugs 3y ago
> I have two macros for notes that I regularly take: "what do I value?" and "what is my trajectory?" I hope in making these explicit I can have an easier time aligning them. Does it work?
- Zambyte 3y ago
  I think it works in the sense that I have a greater feeling of clarity in what I want from my life. I've been doing it less than a year though, and I feel like great change accumulates over many years, so it's hard to say if my actions are really that different than if I hadn't been doing this.