27 ms·

Not enough money (:

jajko 3y ago
Its not a question of money. The underlying issue is much simpler (and harder to fix, this age is usually too late) - kids are hyper-stimulated by virtual worlds and instant social gratification, and then find real world utterly boring, have no clue how social aspects and communication work etc. Broken sad human beings. That's not something one can learn online, only via hard grind with other humans, over decades of continuous improvement. You know, just like we did it. This is IMHO failure of parents - phones and digital media generally have no place till at least 15. Yes, in subpar communities this often means stigma. This doesn't change a nanometer the fact its very harmful, just look at what is being discussed. In better ones this is the norm for exactly this reason. You know how good parenting looks like? Tons, gigatons of time, parents being role models to kids not due to stellar careers and meeting for 60 minutes a day, if at all, burned out. No phones or social media around. Its much much harder for the parents, but raising kids well is the most important achievement parent can achieve. Anytime you see lazy parenting and good parenting results next to each other, the difference is staggering. The advantage well-raised kids will have later in life will be massive.
- seec 3y ago
  But the reality is that if you want achieve that, at least one of the parents has to sacrifice their career, at least temporarily but that usually means a dead end in the long run. Without that there is just not enough time available in a dual working household, that is even after the kids have been dropped off to other people for most of the day (school, child care and the likes). Historically this is what the women did and unlike the feminist rhetoric likes to pretend there were (and still are) very good reasons why this is the case. Even if you find a woman making enough money and willing to have an at home husband, the risk of divorce will very little recourse for the man are so high it is really an extremely unappealing proposition for most man. That is before talking about the psychological issues the women will display after enough years of being married to a "worthless man". I have experienced/observed that first hand, multiple times, and let me tell you nobody gets out that in good shape. I am at the same time amused and amazed that they are still numerous willing man that are still talking the bullshit coming out of feminists and nowadays, society at large, at face value; even though careful observation would teach you otherwise. Men and women are drifting appart, because while the propaganda would very much like you to believe otherwise, there is a very large value mismatch between man and women. We have built an extensive set of bullshit qualifications and whatnot to pretend otherwise, but reality has this habit of catching up to lies and at some point, most of the interested parties figure out what's what.
- dvfjsdhgfv 3y ago
  > You know how good parenting looks like? Tons, gigatons of time, While I agree, you just gave advice that is completely impractical to almost all of us. For most people driving the kids to school, doing all the tasks needed to get the money coming so that the bills can be paid, doing household chores and trying to share the tiny rest of the time between their[0] needs is already a success. [0] That is, the kids, their partner, and themselves, each of these requiring something different.

Not enough money (:

Its not a question of money. The underlying issue is much simpler (and harder to fix, this age is usually too late) - kids are hyper-stimulated by virtual worlds and instant social gratification, and then find real world utterly boring, have no clue how social aspects and communication work etc. Broken sad human beings. That's not something one can learn online, only via hard grind with other humans, over decades of continuous improvement. You know, just like we did it. This is IMHO failure of parents - phones and digital media generally have no place till at least 15. Yes, in subpar communities this often means stigma. This doesn't change a nanometer the fact its very harmful, just look at what is being discussed. In better ones this is the norm for exactly this reason. You know how good parenting looks like? Tons, gigatons of time, parents being role models to kids not due to stellar careers and meeting for 60 minutes a day, if at all, burned out. No phones or social media around. Its much much harder for the parents, but raising kids well is the most important achievement parent can achieve. Anytime you see lazy parenting and good parenting results next to each other, the difference is staggering. The advantage well-raised kids will have later in life will be massive.

seec 3y ago
But the reality is that if you want achieve that, at least one of the parents has to sacrifice their career, at least temporarily but that usually means a dead end in the long run. Without that there is just not enough time available in a dual working household, that is even after the kids have been dropped off to other people for most of the day (school, child care and the likes). Historically this is what the women did and unlike the feminist rhetoric likes to pretend there were (and still are) very good reasons why this is the case. Even if you find a woman making enough money and willing to have an at home husband, the risk of divorce will very little recourse for the man are so high it is really an extremely unappealing proposition for most man. That is before talking about the psychological issues the women will display after enough years of being married to a "worthless man". I have experienced/observed that first hand, multiple times, and let me tell you nobody gets out that in good shape. I am at the same time amused and amazed that they are still numerous willing man that are still talking the bullshit coming out of feminists and nowadays, society at large, at face value; even though careful observation would teach you otherwise. Men and women are drifting appart, because while the propaganda would very much like you to believe otherwise, there is a very large value mismatch between man and women. We have built an extensive set of bullshit qualifications and whatnot to pretend otherwise, but reality has this habit of catching up to lies and at some point, most of the interested parties figure out what's what.
dvfjsdhgfv 3y ago
> You know how good parenting looks like? Tons, gigatons of time, While I agree, you just gave advice that is completely impractical to almost all of us. For most people driving the kids to school, doing all the tasks needed to get the money coming so that the bills can be paid, doing household chores and trying to share the tiny rest of the time between their[0] needs is already a success. [0] That is, the kids, their partner, and themselves, each of these requiring something different.