3 ms·

Cool idea, but the Poem[1] is extremely underwhelming. [1] https://www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laureate/poet-laureate-projects/a-poem-for-e

by hersko 3y ago

Cool idea, but the Poem[1] is extremely underwhelming. [1] https://www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laureate/poet-laureate-projects/a-poem-for-europa/ https://www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laur...

cdelsolar 3y ago
Seemed like a decent poem to me. Are you a literary critic?
- ourmandave 3y ago
  Maybe they're a Vogon.
- xandrius 3y ago
  So one needs to be an authority to present a personal statement? I also found it pretty lacking in emotion (although it seems that was what they were going for) and prolix.
- jfengel 3y ago
  I am. (Or at least, adjacent to one, a Shakespeare scholar.) In my opinion, it's OK, but not her best work. Which I suppose is inevitable, since she's writing it on spec rather than from her heart. Compare it to "Sharks in the Rivers", which I like better: https://poets.org/poem/sharks-rivers https://poets.org/poem/sharks-rivers Calling out "the whale song, the songbird singing" feels facile to me. These are easy, accessible "mysteries", cliches. But of course she's been asked for something generic about how great it is to explore stuff, so you're gonna get cliches. Her concluding stanza does it better: "We, too, are made of wonders, of great/and ordinary loves, of small invisible worlds,/of a need to call out through the dark." Again, it's mostly stuff we've heard a thousand times before, but it's got a bit more panache. "Call out through the dark" is more viscerally relevant to the mission, and emotionally engaging. I also like her references to water. I dunno if that was just what was handed to her as part of the spec, but it's concretely about this specific mission. "O second moon, we, too, are made/of water, of vast and beckoning seas." That's the best line in the poem, the one that really says why we're doing what we're doing. (I wouldn't have used "second moon", at least not without some kind of payoff about the evocative word "second", but maybe it'll feel stronger if I sit with it for a bit.) It's stronger read aloud than silently. Though to my mind, since this is conspicuously an inscription, I'd have wanted to rely on that less. These are, of course, just my opinions, which are worth the paper they're written on.
  - trip9 3y ago
    Thank you for taking the time to write out a few of your criticisms. I think that I agree with most of them despite being unable to come up with them on my own. I've always wanted to get better at reading poetry critically.
  - throwaway-blaze 3y ago
    Gotta ask, Shakespeare scholar and hacker/techie? That's great. I did a lot of art history classes while majoring in cs as an undergrad.
- rdtsc 3y ago
  >> [cdelsolar] Are you a literary critic? > [jfengel] I am. (Or at least, adjacent to one, a Shakespeare scholar.) I love this about HN. It gave me "Are you John Nagle, or was that a quote?" classic vibes https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9048947 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9048947
justforasingle 3y ago
I came here to post something similar. Look at the engraved art on the tantalum plate... It looks like mass produced etsy trash to be hung on the wall of an idiots home - like a sign saying LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.

by hersko 3y ago

cdelsolar 3y ago

Seemed like a decent poem to me. Are you a literary critic?

ourmandave 3y ago
Maybe they're a Vogon.
xandrius 3y ago
So one needs to be an authority to present a personal statement? I also found it pretty lacking in emotion (although it seems that was what they were going for) and prolix.
jfengel 3y ago
I am. (Or at least, adjacent to one, a Shakespeare scholar.) In my opinion, it's OK, but not her best work. Which I suppose is inevitable, since she's writing it on spec rather than from her heart. Compare it to "Sharks in the Rivers", which I like better: https://poets.org/poem/sharks-rivers https://poets.org/poem/sharks-rivers Calling out "the whale song, the songbird singing" feels facile to me. These are easy, accessible "mysteries", cliches. But of course she's been asked for something generic about how great it is to explore stuff, so you're gonna get cliches. Her concluding stanza does it better: "We, too, are made of wonders, of great/and ordinary loves, of small invisible worlds,/of a need to call out through the dark." Again, it's mostly stuff we've heard a thousand times before, but it's got a bit more panache. "Call out through the dark" is more viscerally relevant to the mission, and emotionally engaging. I also like her references to water. I dunno if that was just what was handed to her as part of the spec, but it's concretely about this specific mission. "O second moon, we, too, are made/of water, of vast and beckoning seas." That's the best line in the poem, the one that really says why we're doing what we're doing. (I wouldn't have used "second moon", at least not without some kind of payoff about the evocative word "second", but maybe it'll feel stronger if I sit with it for a bit.) It's stronger read aloud than silently. Though to my mind, since this is conspicuously an inscription, I'd have wanted to rely on that less. These are, of course, just my opinions, which are worth the paper they're written on.
- trip9 3y ago
  Thank you for taking the time to write out a few of your criticisms. I think that I agree with most of them despite being unable to come up with them on my own. I've always wanted to get better at reading poetry critically.
- throwaway-blaze 3y ago
  Gotta ask, Shakespeare scholar and hacker/techie? That's great. I did a lot of art history classes while majoring in cs as an undergrad.
rdtsc 3y ago
>> [cdelsolar] Are you a literary critic? > [jfengel] I am. (Or at least, adjacent to one, a Shakespeare scholar.) I love this about HN. It gave me "Are you John Nagle, or was that a quote?" classic vibes https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9048947 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9048947

justforasingle 3y ago

I came here to post something similar. Look at the engraved art on the tantalum plate... It looks like mass produced etsy trash to be hung on the wall of an idiots home - like a sign saying LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.