3 ms·

Another part of it is that (imo) one of the biggest boons from group drinking is that it builds trust by giving people something to bond over — you’ve all imbib

Another part of it is that (imo) one of the biggest boons from group drinking is that it builds trust by giving people something to bond over — you’ve all imbibed to lower your inhibitions and get a little sloppy/loose, and the next day you see that you’re still accepted and part of the group. Teetotalers might be there physically, but they’ve opted out of the shared experience of making themselves vulnerable.

tombert 3y ago
I mean, I didn't really "opt out". I don't breath properly when I sleep, alcohol makes it worse, the doctor more or less made the decision for me. But I suppose alcohol is bad for basically everyone, and the others opt in to that risk as well.
gedy 3y ago
> you’ve all imbibed to lower your inhibitions and get a little sloppy/loose, and the next day you see that you’re still accepted and part of the group. In west coast tech companies with young people of both sexes, I absolutely refuse to drink due to not wanting to be accused of harassment or inappropriate behavior. I'm not a creep, but am older and not really attractive and am treated to a different standard. Sounds paranoid but have had coworkers accused, penalized, or fired after these events.
- parpfish 3y ago
  i don't know... if getting a bit of a buzz leads to you doing things that are interpreted as inappropriate, maybe there's some bigger underlying issues about understanding what's appropriate.
  - gedy 3y ago
    Well the OP mentioned "lower your inhibitions and get a little sloppy/loose", and I mention double standards depending on the person. I've seen outings in Asia where there's lots of non-sexual touching, arm around shoulders etc, and yet that would be like insta-problem between sexes on the west coast. Getting buzzed means you aren't on high alert for this sort of thing, hence I'll nope out of putting myself in this situation.

tombert 3y ago

I mean, I didn't really "opt out". I don't breath properly when I sleep, alcohol makes it worse, the doctor more or less made the decision for me. But I suppose alcohol is bad for basically everyone, and the others opt in to that risk as well.

gedy 3y ago

> you’ve all imbibed to lower your inhibitions and get a little sloppy/loose, and the next day you see that you’re still accepted and part of the group. In west coast tech companies with young people of both sexes, I absolutely refuse to drink due to not wanting to be accused of harassment or inappropriate behavior. I'm not a creep, but am older and not really attractive and am treated to a different standard. Sounds paranoid but have had coworkers accused, penalized, or fired after these events.

parpfish 3y ago
i don't know... if getting a bit of a buzz leads to you doing things that are interpreted as inappropriate, maybe there's some bigger underlying issues about understanding what's appropriate.
- gedy 3y ago
  Well the OP mentioned "lower your inhibitions and get a little sloppy/loose", and I mention double standards depending on the person. I've seen outings in Asia where there's lots of non-sexual touching, arm around shoulders etc, and yet that would be like insta-problem between sexes on the west coast. Getting buzzed means you aren't on high alert for this sort of thing, hence I'll nope out of putting myself in this situation.