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>The usual answer of “because having children is eternal happiness” just doesn’t hold water anymore, because the opportunity loss of having a child has grown dr
by Thorrez 3y ago
>The usual answer of “because having children is eternal happiness” just doesn’t hold water anymore, because the opportunity loss of having a child has grown dramatically.
This sentence doesn't make sense to me. How can the opportunity loss outweigh eternal happiness?
- jrflowers 3y agoThis is a good question; if somebody tells you that something promises eternal happiness, how could you (or any person) compel yourself to not do that thing? The sheer amount of willpower it must take to overcome the unassailable truth of a statement phrased in that way boggles the mind of a low brow such as myself
- kredd 3y agoVery easy when you subscribe to “if it’s too good to be true it probably is” belief.
- jrflowers 3y agoI’ve never heard of this phrase and I find it confusing. How could someone arrive at such a negative outlook when faced with infinite and undeniable proof of eternal happiness everywhere in the world?
- kredd 3y agoWhy negative? Not believing that there’s eternal happiness waiting in a corner doesn’t mean someone (well, me in this case) lives a depressing life. Quite the opposite, I’m genuinely satisfied with where I am right now. Everyone’s choices are subjective and involve different calculations. After all, happiness is subjective.
- Dalewyn 3y ago>undeniable proof of eternal happiness I've seen enough families clearly miserable with each other to know that anyone who calls marriage and children "eternal happiness" is a fucking snake oil peddler trying to sell me a bridge.
- kredd 3y agoI meant that quote to be tongue-in-cheek, and out of reality. Should’ve been a bit more clear, my bad. When I was a kid, that’s how older people around me described what parenthood gives you (eternal happiness). Later on, as sad as it sounds, I realized that line can be used as a cope for people for whom parenthood didn’t work out for a lot of different reasons (loss of a child, kids not meeting your expectations, work stress, problems in your partnership, societal priorities and etc.). So you start weighing your risks, and some come to conclusion that having no children or just one is good enough. Then again, you get “you’ll never know until you experience it!” statements, and that still doesn’t cut it. Because, it’s really, genuinely good enough for some people, since you avoided most of the risks and enjoyed your life. Also as childless/small families age, they become a proof of concept to others how you really don’t need 3+ children (basically a requirement to be at the replacement level of the society). There’s also a huge underlying “everyone wants others to have children, but only care about their own children” issue. And as we’ve gotten more competitive in the society, the best way to play the game is not playing it. But that’s a different topic. Sorry for being a bit of a downer, but we talk about this with my friends quite often (late 20s-30s groups). And that’s generally how everyone feels - both men and women.
- Dalewyn 3y agoI relate heavily. I (Japanese-American male, if that matters) do not ever plan on marrying and thusly having children, life is far too short to deal with that literal bullshit when I have so many bigger fish to fry.
- geraldwhen 3y agoWhat fish? Without kids, nothing matters. You’re just moving from one hedonistic pleasure to the next.